When the yard police goof

[mailbox]

I got a citation from the city yard police (for lack of something more benign to call them) for "excessive vegetation." Whatever its actual merits, the blank for "Date of infraction" was filled in with a date of almost a year ago! But in the signature portion, the inspector did sign with a more plausible recent date. I couldn't believe my eyes. I have requested a hearing before the adjudication board. Would it be prudent to have a substantive defense or are these things dismissed if they're technically flawed?

Also in the things-that-don't-add-up department, in the envelope in which the citation arrived, somebody had mistakenly included a multi-page document pertaining to a complicated housing violation by somebody else in a different part of the city!

-- [e-mail] (Charles Packer) ungoogled: mailboxATSIGNcpacker.org

[David Martel]

Mail,

Such technical flaws in a citation won't affect the merit of the citation. If you raise the issue of the date the date will be corrected. Mow your lawn.

Dave M.

[Travis]

What city? Why do you live there? Since the infraction was from a year ago you will probably be assessed an additional fine. Technicalities are always in favor of the government.

[Travis]

It could be something other than the lawn. Shrubs/trees blocking the sidewalk or interfering with traffic.

[Doug Kanter]

That's true. I walk 4 nights a week. A few neighbors have stuff growing in such a way that it pokes pedestrians in the face. I like wild gardens, but that's just plain stupid.

[Vox Humana]

Around here, people seem to move every two or three years. People move in and get an urge to mark their territory by planting something. Often it is a small tree or shrub that they plop down in an inappropriate spot. They move in a couple of years and the cycle repeats. After about 15 years, you get stuff growing over the sidewalks and blocking your vision at the intersection. It's too much work for people to remove or prune overgrown pants, and most people seem to be allergic to the outdoors. They drive down the street, push the garage door transmitter, drive into the garage, close the door, and don't come outside again until it's time for the next work day. They seem oblivious to the fact that their landscape needs some attention. I suspect that most of the younger people who do this are conditioned by their parents catering to their every need that it isn't in their scope of thought to do anything themselves.

[Doug Kanter]

The way some people "think" about their yards is truly bizarre. My neighbor across the street has done a pretty nice job of landscaping. It's the type of setup you'd expect from a guy who doesn't really like plants THAT much, so it's designed for minimal maintenance. Not sterile, but plants that need little attention. Then, last week, he started applying that hideous, artificially colored red mulch. :-) We got to talking and he asked if I wanted some extra mulch. I commented that I didn't like the red stuff. His response: "I know it's not natural looking, but when people see it, it's obvious that someone's been landscaping".

????? If 5 sheets of paper are stapled together, it's obvious that someone's been stapling, but so what? :-)

[mailbox]

Your flippancy is justified; I didn't flesh out the context of the situation. I've made it a point to keep the public space in front of the house trimmed and the alley by the side of the house free of overhanging branches. The house is one of a few 1920's bungalows amid 1940s and

1950s houses that are somewhat more substantial. My elderly neighbor who lives in a similar house across the street was hit with a similar citation at the same time.

The area is on the brink of gentrification; it's not far from the Anacostia watershed of Washington, D.C. that is the object of a recent comprehensive development plan. And this city has seen a post-9/11 willingness of authorities of all kinds to use their muscle -- for example, when the 12-year-old girl was handcuffed for eating in a Metro station.

I've lived at that address for 19 years and have always had cordial relations with the neighbors. None of them has ever complained about my preference for hands-off landscaping. The issue, ultimately, is esthetic, and the question is whether the city can decide when to dictate esthetics -- in the absence of complaint -- by using regulations that were certainly intended to penalize owners of neglected vacant lots.

-- [e-mail] (Charles Packer) ungoogled: mailboxATSIGNcpacker.org

[David Martel]

Sorry if my answer seemed flippant. You suggest that you have carefully landscaped your property and that it is not overgrown or a public nuisance. Oddly you seem to indicate that only the front and an alley receive routine trimming. You suggest that the 1920s bungalows are being "picked on". Do you know if your citation was in response to a complaint? In the matter of esthetics a judge will consider photos that you bring and listen to what you have to say about them. He will also listen to the opinions of the "lawn police". It's hard to predict how the judge will decide on esthetics. Is your yard a haven for vermin? How does it compare to other yards in the area? I don't know what to make of your belief that you are being picked on for owning a small bungalow. If other, more substantial, homes in the area have similar landscaping with similar maintenance but have not been cited then I guess you can ask why. If your citation was due to a complaint then you should find out who complained.

Good luck, Dave M.

[Vox Humana]

Yep. I have one of this type a few doors up the street. The people are compulsively neat, which isn't a bad thing really, but their yard looks like it came out of a box. It is so sterile and uninteresting. To make matters worse, they use that red volcanic rock mulch. I'm waiting for the plastic shrubs.

The people I don't understand are the ones who obviously don't like yard care, but do things to make their life more complex. These people don't like to mow or trim, but will dig a 18 inch bed, seemingly randomly, in the middle of their lawn and plop down something ridiculous. One person put in a perennial geranium in the middle of a sizable corner lot. What's that about? Another woman planted several small trees in very strange locations, all of which are either too close to her house or the sidewalk. Oh well, she'll be gone in a couple of years and it will be someone else's problem. In the meantime I sure it just reinforces her position that mowing on a regular basis is just too damn hard. Sadly, many of these people are single moms with teenagers. For some reason the kids are never required to help. Maybe I grew up in an unusual household, but I was required to do all the routine landscaping chores such as mowing, trimming, and hedge maintenance. Since my uncle was disabled in WWII, I also had to care for his yard.

[ozzy.kopec]

This thread reminds me of a conversation I had with an (A)lley (I)nspector last Winter.

AI - Sir, you have to get rid of the refuse you have in the alley.

Me - Excuse me?

AI - You have a pile of dirt in the alley.

Me - dirt is refuse?

AI - Yes.

Me - But it's dirt.

AI - It is refuse.

Me - How can dirt be refuse?

AI - Weeds will start growing in it

Me - It's composting (dug up lawn) over an old weed patch.

AI - Compost goes in the back yard.

ME - what-ever.

AI - I'm only giving you a warning, please clean it up.

Here it is, January in Chicago and I'm going to move a pile of dirt/compost/mulch etc. Luckily Ma nature cooperated and the temps rose into the 60's and some rain help defrost it. Moved it onto the other side of the fence, into a neighbors garden area (which I wanted to do in Spring) that was solid weeds the year before (hence weeds all over the alley also). A few days later we got about 10 - 12'' of snow. I was picturing the guy coming back and digging through snow looking for dirt LOL.

[Dane Metcalfe]

Do what a local yokel did. He planted his yard full of something and declared his yard a protected something or other, and the city attorney threw his (pansey-like) hands in the air in defeat!

[Travis]

I've never seen red mulch. Where does one get it?

[Stephen Henning]

At the red mulch stores, like Lowes, Home Depot, etc. They found that organically colored hard wood mulch holds their color longer than naturally reddish mulches like cedar and other wood mulches which fade.

[Travis]

I guess we are lucky out West here, neither Home Depot or Lowes carry red mulch.

[Stephen Henning]

The Lowes in Rainier, WA carries Item #85281, Model #00202 which is a 2 cu.ft. bag of "Color Majic Designer Mulch" with "Long Lasting Color"

They also carry Rubber Mulch, Pine Bark Mulch, Cedar Bark Mulch, etc.

[Travis]

I have never heard of Rainier Washington. There is a Rayonier Washington but I am many miles fron there.

[Mike]

Haven't heard of the case.

I, being a westerner at present, thought this was about wasting H2o. Now I am not sure if its zoning aesthetics or environmental concerns over the watershed.

Sounds like government hell. Do inform us of the outcome.

I live in Hawaii now where they're wont to enact laws, but enforcement never occurs. Sounds like you have the opposite going on in DC.

[Warren]

So it doesn't exist because you haven't heard of it?

might also take a closer look at your local Lowes and Home Depot, because they both carry it even though you don't remember seeing it.

I'd never buy the stuff. It might make for a good picture, but in real life it looks silly. And they charge a premium price for it, too.

[Travis]

> You might also take a closer look at your local Lowes and Home

Dumb ass Lowes mislabeled their web page. That store is in Seattle on Rainier Ave. S.

I will check HD tomorrow. I'm about 4 blocks from the nearest one.