OT; Stilts - Disclaimer

Decided to build my granddaughter (9) some stilts for Xmas. Been looking around the interweb to get some ideas.

Found this site

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which gave me some ideas - and the guy obviously has a great sense of humour - the following disclaimer appears on his site;

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Legal Disclaimer: FROG LEGS STILTS shall be in no way responsible for injuries or damage resulting from either the proper or improper use of our stilts. Customers are strongly urged to exercise due caution and observe all appropriate safety measures when using our wood stilts. The purchaser assumes all responsibilities for any injuries resulting from the use of this toy.

WARNING! Other Precautions: A minimum of one well trained group of EMT personnel must be on hand when children are using the toys. They, or you, must have a complete first-aid kit on hand: bandages, swabs, antiseptic, forceps, specimen gripper, 8-piece dissecting kit with really sharp scissors, morphine, defibrillator, CAT Scan, MRI scan, anesthesia machine, ventilator, surgical smoke evacuator, stirrups and surgical restraints, and it goes without saying, IV equipment.

Consider the proper use of gloves, wrist braces, elbow pads, helmet, safety glasses, ear-protection, knee pads, steel-toed boots, flak-jacket, mouth guard, small half-mask respirator, high-intensity orange-colored mesh safety vest. And if the child plays with the stilts near a cliff, rappelling gear is a must - as well as a fully inflated Mae West when stilting anywhere near water.

It is also essential that the child's last will and testament be current, as well as the child's life insurance policy. Ensure that medical insurance premium payments are up to date.

Safety for the adults: The adults should avoid consuming stimulants before watching the children play with the stilts. No coffee, chocolate, or ginseng. A tall glass of camomile or valarian root tea beforehand would be a good idea. Adults may also want to use ear protection, since the children may squeal loudly with delight - this is especially true when young girls are using the stilts.

REMEMBER: Stilts should never be taken internally!

Batteries not included.

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Made me smile :-)

Reply to
The Medway Handyman
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[Snip]

I met a real one, though. On the back of the Christmas which I bought for SWMBO, and it printed "To my wife" is the message "Not to be given to children under 5". I didn't think it was legal to get married until you (or she) was 16.

Reply to
charles

Not as bad as the birthday card with an "I AM 1" badge on the front, and "not suitable for children under 3" on the back...

Reply to
Andrew Gabriel

Just back from Morrisons. Bought a box of crackers - the "under 25" warning on the self service checkout flagged up!

Apparently you have to be over 25 to buy Xmas crackers cos they go 'bang' when you pull them.

The mind boggles.

Reply to
The Medway Handyman

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