OT: Held hostage by critters

The raccoon and the mouse are running my life.
The RACCOON used to come in the cat door and eat his food (washing it in his water first!) I asked advice far & wide, and most of it was along the lines of "...they are too smart...you can't trap them..." The humane cage I borrowed from my neighbor (he used it for baby possums) seems too small for the raccoon. However, I will try. Am sick & tired of having to block up the cat door and rig a passage for the cat out of my bedroom window.
The MOUSE has been gorging itself on cat food. He/she/it lives behind the water heater. I shined a flashlight back there; the floor is blanketed with mouse shit. Don't ask why the ()spoiled, arrogant) cat doesn't catch the mouse; that's what I'd like to know. Republicans will assume that it's because I created a welfare state for the cat. Democrats will assume that the cat is too smart to squeeze behind the water heater; why jeopardize a good thing.
Last night I went into the kitchen and saw this HUGE mouse sitting on the counter eating one of my tomatoes that I had just picked. He just sat there & stared at me defiantly. OP got hold of a heavy poker and tried to bash him, but he escaped.
From now on there will be NO food left out -- not even a crumb. Everything goes into the (crowded) frig! Maybe if mouse realizes the gravy train is over, he will leave? Or maybe he will come into my bedroom, where I have moved the cat food tray (shudder).
Now finally coming to the point: Traps haven't been doing any good. I may have to have recourse to poison, which I hate the very thought of!! Does anybody know of a poison that kills QUICKLY?! Condemning an animal, which is only doing its own thing, to an awful lingering death horrifies me.
Your advice welcomed.
HB
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On 7/16/12 2:58 PM, Higgs Boson wrote:

For the raccoon, bait the trap with "stinky fish" (sardines, anchoveys, lox if you can afford it, smoked oysters).
For the mice, try a sticky trap. These are shallow plastic containers about 3" wide, 5" long, and 1/4" deep containing a very sticky substance topped with seeds and other mouse goodies. Walking onto the container to get the goodies, the mouse gets stuck in the goo (from goody to goo :) ).
--
David E. Ross
Climate: California Mediterranean, see
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Thanks, David -- but after they're caught, I have to kill them -- how???
HB
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Higgs Boson wrote:

Stretch neck, if you can do a chook you can do a mouse easily (very quick, no mess but personal) Smack brick on head (very quick but possibly messy) Feed to cat/dog (isn't "natural" soooo gooood) Drown (slow, yuk) Car exhaust into box (fussy but quite painless) Delegate
Personally I go for #1, the top predator ought to take responsibility for doing his/her own dirty work.
D
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I found a light tap on the head with a hammer does the job with little mess. No complaints from the mouse either.
--
Dan Espen

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Higgs Boson wrote:

Hey, if your cat doesn't mind sharing its food with a mouse WTF do you give a rat's b-hind?
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On 7/17/2012 3:15 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:

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On Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:58:58 -0400, Frank

Sounds more like the story is a fabrication. I have six cats, all indoor cats, and another lives in my barn, I live very rural, plenty of mice about but none get anywhere near my cats or their food or faster than your eyes can see they'd be goners.
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On Jul 17, 2:06pm, Brooklyn1 <Gravesend1> wrote:

***I don't know why I bother commenting on this post...
No, it's definitely not a "fabrication". This mouse, and his/her predecessor, live behind the water heater, which is virtually inaccessible. The area is carpeted with mouse-shit! In your world, somebody who asks for help is acting out of ?? motives? Gives an interesting insight into your thinking.
I have six cats, all indoor cats, and another lives in my barn, I live very rural, plenty

And what, pray, is the relevance of these comments to my predicament? Except to show your superiority...
HB
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In article

Remember, you are talking to a sick, demented man. Don't expect an reflective response.
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Frank wrote: ...

POC traps. i'd never buy them again. they fall apart very quickly. the other all metal/wood kinds last a bit longer.

heh...
songbird
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Frank the Dumb Fuck wrote:

You have a cat... what a great way to lame its paw.

You have a cat you MORON! I'd be happy to buy you cynide if you let me watch you swallow it.
Why would anyone with a cat need to be concerned about a mouse, you already have the best mouse catcher on the planet. Frank the Dumb Fuck is obviously a LIAR and a TROLL!
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On 7/17/2012 6:26 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:

Now the asshole in you is coming to the forefront. FYI - I did not start this thread.
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Even if it is Shelly, there is probably a poorly conceived law against it.
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On Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:25:31 -0700, "David E. Ross"

That is not allowed in many municipalities. Regs and laws vary, but in a lot of places, removal of the critter is a no-no. Killing on sight might be allowed, though. That is the way it is here.

That is why a kill trap is better for mice. Catch and release for mice is like being on a Moebius strip

We know of a cozy place by the river to release groundhogs. I figure we are improving the gene pool. We are not supposed to do that, and a neighbor once volunteered to shoot the ones we caught, but we chose this method, perhaps mistakenly.
Boron
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Higgs Boson wrote:

Raisins are great bait for cats too, they love them, but raisins are toxic to cats, your friend is an imbecile and you are a ignoranus. That rodent obviously has a higher IQ than you... compared to you that mouse is Einstein. Hopefully, for the sake of your cat (I don't care if you die) maybe you can learn something: http://www.vetinfo.com/toxic-food-cats.html
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