Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing
squad in a small Central American country.
Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before
the order was given he yelled out, Earthquake!" The firing squad fell
into a panic, and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was
reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the
order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and
Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was
thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a
disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as
the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his
direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
Reminds me of the story of a gentleman who hoped to get a jump on the
devilment of Devil's night by moving his own outhouse and camouflaging the
pit. In the course of which he slipped in, and was unable to get out.
He yelled "fire" often and loudly until the volunteers arrived with a
ladder, rope, and hose to pull him out and clean him off.
The chief, puzzled, asked "why were you yelling 'fire?' Don't you know
you've got half the town here unnecessarily?"
"If I had yelled sh*t, would anyone have come?"
Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack
Obama and John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said,
"You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of
the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I
could throw ten $100 bills out of the window
and make ten people very happy."
John added, "That being the case, I could throw
one hundred $10 bills out of the window and
make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes
and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there.
I could throw all of them out of the window and
make 156 million people very happy."
Ha ha! But who are the 156 million very happy people? Does this joke
find its origins in the 1950s when the population hit 156 million -
perhaps during the 1956 presidential election. Who didn't want to see
that uppidy egghead Adlai Stevenson tossed from a plane? Or does it
imply that all Republicans are very happy whenever human beings are
tossed from aircraft and left to splatter - perferrably, I suppose, on
Barbra Streisand's pool deck. Ha ha - blood and guts everywhere. It
would be funnier if she had to clean it up but Barbra probably has a
maid or something. It must be blood that makes Republicans happy.
They're the ones who want to prolong Mr. Bush's War but I doubt there
are 156 million of them...
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