In the UK, the government is both going to radically uplift academic achievement and save a fortune on the state education system by issuing all children with a degree from Oxbridge at birth, along with the birth certificate, and shut down all the schools.
"The children will grow up happy and secure" a spokesman said "And will be able to earn far more as it has been shown that people with degrees from these universities on average have an income 2.5 times the national average, and the saving on education is immense. Its a win win - at a stroke we have eliminated all elitism from education, and reduced the tax burden by billions"
Mothers were seen openly crying in the streets "Getting a decent education for my kids was a dream " says Mrs Fatbutt, "but they always got nervous with exams. Now instead of being relegated to the home for the intellectually challenged, My son can become a top research scientist. Without the Labour governments plan all he had to look forward to was a lifetime of petty crime, or becoming president of the USA"
Dissenters who claimed that this system utterly devalued the concept of a degree and would lead to disaster were firmly put in their place by our Glorious Leader "Nobody likes a smartass" he grinned "This is just the last vestiges of the elitist so-called 'meritocracy' where people could gain unfair advantages by dint of an accident of birth" he said. "It is utterly unfair to expect people to perform adequately in life under the trauma of a series of failed tests, and psychologically damaging examinations"
When asked why his son was attending an expensive private school in India he replied "First of all, that is because I want him to grow up understanding lots of different cultures, and secondly it was my wife's decision and has nothing to do with politics at all, so can we move on please?"