OT: a bit of humour. :-)

A woodworker is applying for a job and must answer three questions!

Here's your first question," the foreman said.

"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" The woodworker says. "Dat is easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the foreman asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the woodworker.

"Fair enough," says the foreman. "Here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The woodworker stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "'Ere you go."

The foreman scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?

" Each of da trees is dirty now ! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The foreman is getting worried he's going to have to hire this fellow, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.

" The woodworker stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, Ere you go. One hundred."

The foreman looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!

" The woodworker leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree, and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred... So when I start?"

Reply to
The3rd Earl Of Derby
Loading thread data ...

Since joining the EU and reviving their economy the Irish have become much more sophisticated as illustrated by this story.

Paddy applied for work on a construction site.

"Now, Paddy" said the foreman "let's see what you know. What is the differance between girders and joists"

"Well, sor" replied Paddy "It would be Goethe who wrote 'Faust' whereas I'm tinking dat Joyce is your man for 'Dubliners')

Reply to
dcbwhaley

Paddy and Mick apply for jobs with the police, Mick goes in first, the DI asks him how many fingers is he holding up, 'three' says mick...the DI puts his hands behind his back, then holds up two on each hand, 'how many now?', 'four' says Mick...next the DI asks him, 'who sat in the corner and pulled out a plum?' - 'Little Jack Horner' replied Mick. 'Okay Michael' said the DI, can you ask Patrick to come in'...Mick tells Paddy how easy it is and what to expect with the fingers etc, when Paddy goes into the room, the DI is washing his hands, 'Dats not fair' says Paddy, 'Your boxing 'em up!'....The DI proceeds to ask him how many fingers and he gets them all right, so then the DI asked him, 'who killed c*ck robin?'...Paddy was thinking as hard as he could but couldn't answer, so the DI told him to go outside and have a minute to think about it. 'How did it go Paddy?', asked Mick, 'How did it go?' replied Paddy, - 'they've put me on a murder case already!'

Reply to
Phil L

A long time ago, when it was still legal to ask, a young country fellow was enlisting for the miltary.

He answered all the questions, quite readily until it came to, "And what religion are you?".

After a puzzzled look the would be recruit who probably hadn't seen the inside of a church, chapel, mosque or temple since he was baptised, if then, asks "Well what kinds are there?".

The recruiter rhymed out some of the more common ones and variations; Anglican, Catholic, Baptist, Unitarian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist etc.

After another long puzzled look the young fellow said "Well what kinds are you short of? Put me down for one of those"!

Reply to
terry

HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.