Apprentice with a tape measure problem

[Jim K..]

Electrified door handles (as elsewhere)... aka "Correctional Therapy" ;-)

[Jim K..]

With a rebel yell?

[ARW]

A simple job. I left him in a pub car park to measure the length of two fences for an outside socket.

30 minutes later he came into the pub (where I was fixing the CCTV and not drinking) to tell me that his tape measure was not long enough.

[Andrew]

It took him 30 minutes to unwind 3 or 5 metres of tape ??.

You should have given him a Stanley tape measure made for the USA domestic market, and calibrated in Feet and Inches, just for added amusement.

[spuorgelgoog]

He'll be able to measure in inches.

Up to about six, anyway :-)

Owain

[Brian Gaff]

Did he not have a marker with him then? Brian

[Brian Gaff]

This is what I say about education though. They give them the facts but not how to apply them or think it through logically themselves. Brian

[dennis]

That was what University was for, these days its just more facts and no thought.

[whisky-dave]

I'd have given him a vernier calipier and said use this they are far more accurate.

Obviously jeremy corbyn thinks this sort of person is worth £10 an hour.

[Dave Plowman (News)]

Could it be he was winding you up? ;-)

[spuorgelgoog]

But is that compared to Jeremy Corbyn's intellect or his income?

Owain

[Adrian Caspersz]

We should have stayed in the trees.

It was a mistake teaching the times tables by rote, they became bankers and accountants ;-(

[ARW]

If he is then he is doing a good job. The same useless bastard could not get out of a house last week because "the door was locked". It never occurred to him that the door (like almost every other door in the UK) opened inwards.

[jkn]

;-)

[Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp]

What qualifications are needed for the position?

I would have thought O level standards in maths and a science subject would be a must.

I know the goverment has spent years screwing Britains educational system up, but one or two must have escaped with some ability to think?

I assume the tape was 1 cm by X metres?

Show him how to measure a beermat using the width of the tape.

Start a lottery to see if he has the nous to translate the idea to a more longitudinal measuring approach. AB

[ARW]

O level standards went 30 years ago.

[Tim Streater]

Adam should have taken the tape measure off him, given him a 1ft ruler, and sent him back to try again.

[Archibald Tarquin Blenkinsopp]

???

What does an apprentice need then?

I knew Ohms law before leaving secondary school.

Never really needed much more. Just an appreciation of I^R effects and an ability to factor in reactance.

Never had problems with the theory on mechanical measurements.

Used to measure twice, cut once. Sadly these days after the second measurement I can never find the paper I put the first one on.

By the third Measurement I have lost the pen :-(

AB

[whisky-dave]

We've had the handles removed on all the push doors to stop students pulling them. But then again it is rather silly wasting money putting pull handles on push doors.

[Andy Burns]

It's surprising the number of doors that have "pull" signs and handles on them which are, in fact, also pushable.