Are you Gay?
Here are a few clues...
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It means
haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your
time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, butgay--
grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except
it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a
"Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how
call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense,
assured, you are a
Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters,
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits.Anything else and you are in training and
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot,
you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he
and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A
straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a
Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different
dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass
passes. A real man doesn't have
memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on
the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both
on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of
he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his
8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you
of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a