Will this poly cure?

I tried my hand at "wiping poly."
I had a can that was not well-sealed, that had started to skin over. I broke the skin, poured the contents into a butter bowl, and diluted to a guesstimated 50/50 with mineral spirits.
I used this on a test piece, and I didn't like the results at all, so I put saran wrap over the bowl, put the lid on, and it's been sitting outside through everything from 70 degrees to 25 degrees for about a month.
When I opened the bowl, there was a crust of whitish, rubbery stuff. When I broke through that, the glop remaining in the bowl had the consistency of that slimy amber colored gelatin you find in a cat food can, and was not sticky at all.
I'm looking for a really obnoxiously horrible looking finish to use on a gag gift. I slopped that goop all over the project and smeared it around with a piece of steel wool. It looks like utter hell, which is precisely the effect I'm after.
I'm just wondering at this point if the stuff will ever cure. After sitting there for several hours, I can grab handfulls of the goo and sling it around, and it doesn't seem to be forming any kind of skin.
Is it maybe just too cold, or do I have to come up with something else? It can sit there and stew for a month if it needs to, if that would be useful.
Any other ideas for an incredibly bad finish that looks like I was *trying*, but just failed miserably? I can't be the only Christmas smartass out here. :)
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Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
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Silvan wrote:

<snip>
I think I'll just sit back and wait for Larry (C-less) to pop in. He should have a field day with this question!
-- Jack Novak Buffalo, NY - USA (Remove "SPAM" from email address to reply)
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If was to be a gag maybe leave the way it is. Will it fit in the oven? If so preheat it to the lowest temp it will go, usually 150, turn it off and put in it there for a couple of hours. Best if SWMBO isn't home at the time. John
On Sat, 22 Nov 2003 21:40:03 -0500, Silvan

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John wrote:

I'd probably forget about it and then have to find out if my fire extinguisher works... :)
Well, anyway, question answered. A day in the sun cured it. All except these huge water bubbles that rose to the surface.
It's absolutely the most hideous thing that could have been done to wood without involving paint, stain, or fire. It's perfect!
After it has served its purpose, maybe I'll mail it to Larry Jacques... :)
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On Mon, 24 Nov 2003 02:29:52 -0500, Silvan

They don't call me C-less for nothing, punk. And don't you dare. Terrorism is a crime. Keep it as a reminder of the ramifications of actually using poly on decent wood, sinner.
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Larry Jaques wrote:

ROTFL!!
Actually, I'm going to recycle it. The strips were grossly out of whack after the first cut, so I didn't glue them together the second time. Instead, I just tacked strips of really screwed-up plywood scraps to the sides to hold all the checkered strips into a board-like shape. Then I drowned it in that poly glop.
Once it has served its purpose, I'm going to break it back up, scrape and plane all that shit off of it, and glue the strips into a turning blank to make a checkered lamp or something. I have no intention of wasting the wood this way, though I may yet waste it if my turning skills aren't up to the challenge. We'll see come Christmas what I can do with a lathe. :)
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On Mon, 24 Nov 2003 19:33:44 -0500, Silvan

Repent!
Just Say(tmPL): I'm glad I stopped tracking abpf/abpw.
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