What if the Man in Black was a Woodworker?


Well, I left Kentucky back in '04 An' went to Mississippi workin' on Delta 'sembly line The first year they had me puttin' motors on the DeltaX5
Every day I'd watch them beauties roll by And sometimes I'd hang my head and cry 'Cause I always wanted one that had 5 horse power!
One day I devised myself a plan That should be the envy of most any woodworker. I'd sneak it out of there in a lunchbox in my hand Now gettin' caught meant gettin' fired But I figured I'd have it all by the time I retired I'd have me a table saw worth at least three grand.
CHORUS I'd get it one piece at a time And it wouldn't cost me a dime You'll know it's me when you drive by my garage. I'm gonna be cuttin wood in style I'm gonna drive everybody wild 'Cause I'll have the only one there is a round.
So the very next day when I punched in With my big lunchbox and with help from my friends I left that day with a lunch box full of table saw parts Now, I never considered myself a thief Delta wouldn't miss just one little piece Especially if I strung it out over several years.
The first day I got me a motor And the next day I got me an trunnion and a fence. Then I got me the cast iron top and all of the chrome The little things I could get in my big lunchbox Like nuts, an' bolts, and the hand wheels. But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's mobile home.
Now, up to now my plan went all right 'Til we tried to put it all together one night And that's when we noticed that something was definitely wrong.
--
Stoutman
http://www.garagewoodworks.com
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Please finish it! Marc
Stoutman wrote:

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The trunnion was an '05 And the motor turned out to be a '06 And when we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone.
So we drilled it out so that it would fit And with a little bit of help with a Lee Valley adapter kit We had that motor runnin' just like a song Now the saw blade was another sight We had two on the left and one on the right But when we pulled out the switch all two of 'em come on.
The outfeed table looked kinda funny too But we put it together and when we got thru Well, that's when we noticed that we had no off switch About that time my SWMBO walked out And I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts But she opened the door and said "Honey, make me a cherry dining table!"
CHORUS I got it one piece at a time And it didn't cost me a dime You'll know it's me when you drive by my garage I'm gonna be cuttin wod in style I'm gonna drive everybody wild 'Cause I'll have the only one there is around.
(Spoken) Ugh! Yow, Leon This is the STOUTMAN In the PSYCHO-BILLY Table Saw Come on Huh, This is the Stoutman And negatory on the cost of this table saw there Leon You might say I went right up to the factory And picked it up, it's cheaper that way Ugh!, what model is it?
Well, It's a '04, '05, '06, Delta table saw
'04, '05, '06, Delta table saw...
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