Trip to Home Depot (tee hee)

Subject: trip to Home Depot
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes with a toe sticking through one of them.
Right in the middle of this project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, 'I Got Worms'.
In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until they have your prescriptions ready at Walgreens. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Home Depot and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You give up and go back home with a gallon of antifreeze - in July.
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How true how true!!!!
Cooniedog
FoggyTown wrote:

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On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 08:02:31 -0800 (PST), FoggyTown

Gave me a great laugh. Amen.
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Hey, I'm in my 40's acting like in my 90's.
-- Mark
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Foggy:
LOL! Is this your own? It is VERY FUNNY!
Listen, I want to send this to some others, Ok if I just give credit as: 'Posted by FoggyTown on a Usenet newsgroup'?
Thanks. Phil
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wrote:

It wasn't my own work so feel free to pass it on! It wasn't attributed to anyone when I hot it.
FoggyTown
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RE: Subject:
I post this to a sailing list and got the following response: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I thought for sure I'd find my behavior in here someplace. The one that goes...."Screw it. Grab a beer and catch the game on TV." What age is that? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Any thoughts about the question asked?
Lew
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Sounds a lot to me like the Age of Reason.

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Yep...been there...done that!<g>
I find myself fitting into one of the later groups, alhough I would like to pretend that i dont...
Thanks for posting this...I think....
Skip www.ShopFileR.com

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Sat, Nov 24, 2007, 8:02am (EST-3) snipped-for-privacy@aol.com (FoggyTown) doth posteth some stuff about Home Depot and an alternate reality that I snipped:
I do NOT shop at HD (Horribly Desperate), and none of the rest of it even comes close to my reality either. The only clothes I wear with a hole in the crotch are my boxers, and I wear them inside a pair of long pants - I'm a big boy now, and keep the fly zipped. I wear a baseball cap (the latest says Summit Racing, the previous National Geographic), except in the house, or eating out. My normal shirt wear is a long-sleeved shirt, preferably flannel, sleeves rolled up, over a pocket T-shirt. I do not wear tennis shoes, nor shoes with holes in them. A significant percentage of my clothes do have stains, but they are latex paint. The only reason I would clean up before going to town, would be if I did not intend to continue working upon return.
JOAT You'll never get anywhere if you believe what you "hear". What do you "know"?. - Granny Weatherwax
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On Sun, 25 Nov 2007 10:40:47 -0500, snipped-for-privacy@webtv.net (J T) wrote:

Same here really. I don't worry about impressing random people at HD or Lowes, I wear whatever I was wearing, go get what I need and go home. I don't worry about what anyone thinks because it's completely irrelevant. Heck, I've gone to Lowes wearing a dust mask and safety glasses because I forgot to take them off.
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Brian Henderson wrote:

Good thing you weren't going to the bank. :-)
--
If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough

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