Sorry in advance...

But this one's been simmering for a few days...
A semi-pro opera singer I know also dabbles in furniture making, and loves the touch and appearance of french polished cherry.
He was working on a large dining room table of his own design, and found the traditional padding technique when he was applying the shellac to be simply too time-consuming for his schedule.
As he was also a fairly compent curler (playing second on a team that won their fair share of funspiels) he knew how to maintain his balance while sliding sideways (from years of sweeping).
He took this oppportunity to build a contraption out of some large t-track that he could put one foot in, and kick himself along the length of the workpiece. With an oversize pad for the 'lac he was able to finish the tabletop in record time... back and forth, back and forth.
I popped into his shop as he was rubbing out the final finish, looked at the track assembly on the shop floor and asked him what exactly it was.
His reply?
"It's a tee-tracked paddy-lac'er, by a baritone. Finishing off with rottenstone."
djb <ducking & running>
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I guess that's better than my Ghandi joke...
Ghandi wore no shows lots of times - so he was calloused.
Ghandi didn't eat much so he was thin and fragile.
Ghandi was said to be spiritual.
Ghandi fasted often and had bad breath.
Thus...
Ghandi was a super-calloused-fragile-mystic-with-chronic-halitosis.
--


Regards,
Joe Agro, Jr.
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Ouch.
That reminds me of the "Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear" line in "The Monkey Wrench Gang".
-jbb

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

This thread is quickly turning into a groanfest.
B.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Turning into?
My intent was to start it as a...
Oh, nevermind.
djb
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
What have we done to deserve this thread?
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit but, one day, he was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.The doctor arrived, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, 'This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!' 'No, I'm sorry,' replied the bartender, 'it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.'
-Brian
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Dave Balderstone wrote:

[spasm]
Blessings on you, sir, in the name of Flip Wilson, the Queen of the Shaggy Dog Pun.     mahalo,     jo4hn
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

"... give the frog a loan."
I could engage in additional extended expostulatory oratory -- specific examples ending with:
1) "... the squaws of the other two hides."
2) "... cornbread are square."
3) "... for immortal porpoises."
4) "... he's just Occident-prone."
5) "... obscene clone fall."
6) "... long long way to tip a rary."
7) "... the lessor of two weevils."
8) "... illegal levels of tuna in a Mercury."
9) "... nut screws washer and bolts."
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Fri, 21 Jan 2005 11:18:39 -0000, snipped-for-privacy@host122.r-bonomi.com (Robert Bonomi) wrote:

10) Pardon me, Roy...
- - LRod
Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
http://www.woodbutcher.net
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
LRod wrote:

11) We have come not to seize her berry, but to praise it.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

12) Oh, boy-foot bear with teak of Chan
13) The beer that made Mill Famey walk us
--
Alex -- Replace "nospam" with "mail" to reply by email. Checked infrequently.

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
14) A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me...
--
"The thing about saying the wrong words is that A, I don't notice it, and B,
sometimes orange water gibbon bucket and plastic." -- Mr. Burrows
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Dave Balderstone wrote:

and B,

15) "you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think"
tim
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
wrote:

examples
10) Officer, there's a small medium at large....
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Television is a medium.
Proof: (a) it is not rare. (b) it is not well done.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Related Threads

    HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.