Re: OT - Spanking...Should You or Shouldn't You?

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"Kenneth" wrote in message

Yep ... I agree. It's a damn shame there's not someone around that size to whack all the misbehaving adults in this culture who make the rest suffer from their lack of discipline as children.
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On Tue, 22 Nov 2005 06:10:52 -0600, "Swingman"

Hello again,
Your comment reveals the problem so very clearly that I thought to respond:
We agree that disciplining children is extremely important to their well being.
But you clearly equate "hitting" and "discipline."
All the best,
--
Kenneth

If you email... Please remove the "SPAMLESS."
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"Kenneth" wrote in message

You're right again. As an attention getter, you bet I do ... when it is timely and appropriate.
Just don't you equate "hitting" with physical harm.
AAMOF, let me know if you're ever interested in putting your money where your mouth is on that count.
A little scientific experiment, based on whether smacking the crap out of someone for each smug attempt to spin words and meaning would stop the behavior, would be highly pertinent to the discussion and provide some insight you're missing.
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Swingman wrote:

We're just glad you're behind the computer and not in public anywhere.
--
Ragheads - worthless pig shit eaters..
Illegal aliens - just as worthless as ragheads.
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I'm not a link follower so I didn't click on the link but I just read that artical and it had nothing to do with spanking. Who says if you spank your kids you are not a warm andd affectionate parent? Of course your parenting skills<or what ever you want to call them, is going to effect how your children turn out in the long run. But I say again that artical had nothing to do with spanking.
Deborah
"well adjusted" is a right term and used in a right content.
Here is an article suggesting that if your kid needs spanking there is a chance that origin of that behavior is YOUR behavior: http://www.brightsurf.com/news/headlines/view.article.php?ArticleID 942
Warm, nurturing parents have well-adjusted adolescents September 14, 2005
Although preadolescents and adolescents might think their parents hold no sway over them, a study published in the September/October issue of the journal Child Development finds just the opposite early parenting style makes a big difference in how a child turns out.
Researchers from Arizona State University in Tempe evaluated 186 adolescents three times over a six-year period, once every two years from the time the children were about 9 to about age 13. They used parent and teacher reports to evaluate how well adjusted the children were in terms of aggression, antisocial and delinquent behavior, and how well the children were able to self-regulate, i.e., inhibit their behavior when necessary and control their emotions and behavior.
The researchers assessed the childrens self-regulation by measuring their persistence in completing a frustrating task (rather than cheating or giving up), along with reports from parents and teachers. Additionally, they observed the parents (mostly mothers) warmth and positive emotions as they interacted with their child during each of the three assessments.
The researchers found that parenting, youths self-regulation, and youths adjustment were generally related to each other within and across time. Additionally, they found evidence that parents who interacted warmly and positively with their children at the youngest age (the first assessment) had children who were relatively self-regulated two years later, and, in turn, exhibited fewer problem behaviors at the final assessment.
Our results are consistent with the view that parenting affects childrens self-regulation and their overall adjustment, said study author Nancy Eisenberg, Ph.D., Regents professor of psychology at Arizona State University in Tempe.
Thus, the quality of parent-child interactions in childhood seems to foreshadow whether young adolescents experience behavioral problems in adolescence, and this relation appears to be at least partly due to the fact that warm, positive parents have children who are well regulated, she said.
Because warm parenting seems to foster childrens self-regulation, it is likely to contribute to youths positive functioning in a variety of areas.
Society for Research in Child Development
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Deborah ,
sorry, I should have been more clear what I meant. This article implies that if you have "perfect" relations between your family members there is a less likelihood of need to spank.
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lol I just want to know then who has perfect relations in any family? lol
Deborah

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That was a little overboard don't you think? Isn't it possible that he has raised a child to the age of 6 that is well adjusted? Just because he doesn't agree with our methods does not mean his methods don't work.
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I think most parents love their children and want the best for them. In my opinion there are 2 basic reasons that a parent does not discipline their children. The first is that they were probably never taught how to raise children from their parents. Many of my parenting skills were "caught" from my parents. Those people that didn't have the benefit of learning from good parents have their work cut out for them. The 2nd is our nations growing tendency to be lazy. Good parenting is lots of hard work. Often otherwise loving parents give up when they've had a hard day and they have to get up from the couch once again to discipline junior for the 5th time that evening.
I hate it when I see a child like you're referring to in the store. It makes me want to walk over to the kid and give him a good swat, then smack the parent for allowing it. It's not the kids fault for being a turd. It's the parents.
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snip----

Yep! It is. And the parents should be consistent, and have a back bone.

5th time because they haven't taught the kid any manners, and the kid hasn't ever had to pay a price. Interestingly, the day comes when he/she will. Society, in general, has little tolerance for such people. Imagine the rude awakening when a kid pulls the usual BS as a young adult and loses a good job because the boss doesn't have to put up with it.

I agree. Just yesterday, in K-Mart, where there's a Little Caesars Pizza restaurant, I watched as a kid climbed over a railing time and again, while two of his younger siblings were running around screaming, crawling under the tables. The mother had five young ones with her, and all she did was apologize for their behavior, never once attempting to discipline them. At what point in life will these kids begin to understand that there are boundaries?
Harold
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And that is what I think is the real answer to this debate! Kids don't need more friends, that's not a parents job, they need parents that will stand up and do the right thing even if it means the kids will be upset with them. And, they need to do it every time!
Depending on the child, many different methods of parenting may work, but you cannot substitute for being consistent.
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Exactly!
I watched with dismay as my brother didn't discipline his kids, even when they deserved a serious spanking. Example: Ladies washing dishes at a large gathering, his kids (two boys) outside with the garden hose, spraying them through the open window. "Don't, son. Don't, son. Don't, son. When three "Don't, son"s didn't work, he dropped the subject.
Sorry, that calls for some serious intervention, and consistency.
Harold
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Harold and Susan Vordos wrote:

When the store owner shoots one for taking money from the cash register, somewhere around the teen years, I suspect.
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snipped-for-privacy@tds.net says...

On the other hand, there might *never* be that "rude awakening." There are plenty of adults (including middle-aged and over) going around with a certain constant bewildered expression on their face. Totally and chronically confused as to just "WHY" all us mean nasty people refuse to give the Entitlement Freak whatever s/he wants. And just "WHY" we refuse to tolerate his/her obnoxious behaviour.
The Entitlement Freaks are each On A Mission to prove that they are indeed, the centre of the universe, and that everybody else "owes" them.
No clue at eighteen, no clue at thirty, no clue at forty... No clue *ever*.
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How many mother-in-laws does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, she holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her. :)
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Dave Lyon wrote:

That sounds so much like our guy MARY... aka Jethro.
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Pretty hard to improve on that!
Harold
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As long as he's acting in my best interest, and making sure I know why I'm being punished, I'm not afraid of that 1000 lb gorilla. You can be he wouldn't have to tell me something twice.
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doing the spanking? 5 times their weight? must be a really big guy or really small kid....
Deborah
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So...you're suggesting that because the kid hasn't been hit, something's missing from his life? Clue: Some people are better than others at using words, which is one thing that makes some parents, teachers, clergymen, managers and political leaders better than others. If you think that every child will need physical punishment, you're sorely misguided.
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