OT/ Yearly physical.

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I had my annual full medical this morning.
I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart disease.
I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around. But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.
And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland. I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere. I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw me off onto the floor. I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing. If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an out-door fountain with those hands. Thorough he is, gentle he's not.
Till next year, you bastard. . . . .
Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.
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Robatoy wrote:

:)
Hint: Female Doctor = Small Hands
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Tim Daneliuk snipped-for-privacy@tundraware.com
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When I called to schedule mine, the receptionist asked if I had a preference for which doctor to see. I said, "The one with the smallest hands." She lost it so bad, I thought I was going to have to call back.
--

-MIKE-

"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
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Had a persistent bout of prostatitis when I was younger and ended up seeing a urologist. My first appointment with him was right after lunch, and being in sales, it's pretty much a habit to pop a breath mint anytime I'm leaving the car heading to an office building, especially after pizza.
The irony of this situation struck me as I was meeting the doctor for the first time and I shared it with him thusly:
"Doc, call me crazy but I just freshened my breath for a guy who's going to stick his finger up my ass!"
He laughed so hard I thought he was going to have a stoke. It's great to have doctors that you can really talk to.
Tom
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Robatoy wrote:

Small hands have VERY SHARP NAILS!

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> Tim Daneliuk snipped-for-privacy@tundraware.com
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I had that joyous experience (prostrate exam) about 6 months ago. My doctor has fingers the size of cucumbers. As he was trying to insert one of them to check me out, he said "You really need to relax!" I replied "Lets see you relax when you have a man's finger up your a##!" He wasn't amused. Go figure.
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I have a woman doctor.

a##!"
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Reminds me of a dentist I went to many years ago for an emergency. He was making a joke and held his hand in front of my face and made a fist. That is when I realized that his fist was almost as big as my head! No wonder my mouth hurt.
I alway made sure after that any dentist who worked on me had small hands.
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Robatoy wrote:

[snip]
Had a doctor some years ago that seemed to enjoy that finger banging too much. The current doc is better (Asian man = small hands too, Tim). Anyway he was the one that discovered a problem which turned out to be cancer. Had it removed. I won't be making any more babies but I am alive.
I had always planned on making my way out of this mortal coil by being shot by a jealous husband at the age of 119, but that ain't gonna happen either.     elderly gentleman,     jo4hn
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The fact they caught it was something to be happy about, eh? My neighbour wasn't so lucky. By the time they discovered it, it was too late, He was gone 4 months later. He was 60. And that's too young to die.
Glad to still have you around though. *S*
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Robatoy wrote:

Don't forget the hose up the butt. I waited until I was 59 and had several polyps removed including a nice big cancerous one. Rather than take a chance that it might be going on the road, I had 12 inches of colon removed - a "resection". Doc said the operation wouldn't be a big deal - the lying bastard. No chemo required, but had annual hose jobs for three years. I'm finally on a three year schedule.
If I'd had it done when I was 55, it wouldn't have been a problem. If I'd waited another 6 months, I probably wouldn't be here.
The stupidity on my part was my pop died of colon cancer, but at 89 years of age. But I was too "busy at work" to find the time...
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"Robatoy" wrote:

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.
Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be underway...................
Lew
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ROTFLMAO
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Why do I get the idea you are talking about our beloved Jean Chretin? <BEG>
P D Q
"Robatoy" wrote:

Ahh yes, the old dipstick check.
Remember the old story about the guy who was told to "assume the position". then felt the doctor's left hand on one shoulder, his right hand on the other shoulder and the inspection process seemed to be underway...................
Lew
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Lew,
That was one of my fathers favorite jokes<g> He spent 30 years in the Army.
"Lets see...his right hand was on my right sholder....no...his left hand was on my left sholder...no....Hell! He had a hand on each sholder!"
The other one was...
Soldier: "Doc, hurry, your ring is hurting me" Doc" "Thats not my ring, thats my wristwatch"
Skip www.ShopFileR.com

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"Skip Williams" wrote:

See a previous post below:

Re: Colonoscopy Comments
Things a man might say during a colonoscopy:
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
01. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!" 02. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 03. "Can you hear me NOW?" 04. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 05. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married." 06. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" 07. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..." 08. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" 09. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!" 10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." 11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" 12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
Lew
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Getting a digit up your poop shoot is no fun. I sincerely hope you are also having your PSA test as well. It can indicate a problem while the Big C is still an infant.
I've been there and done that and have the scars to prove it.
P D Q
I had my annual full medical this morning.
I'm male, over 55. That's 2 out of 3 (or more) risk factors for heart disease.
I'm always a bit concerned about what he'll find this time around. But the prostrate checked out okay... That's always a good time...NOT!.
And every year I ask myself WHY did I pick a family doctor who toured with the Barbarian Rugby team. He has hands that were designed to continue his family's business, digging the peat-bog in Ireland. I also didn't know my prostrate was in my chest somewhere. I now know why his examination table has a headboard so he won't throw me off onto the floor. I now know why the double doors and extra soundproofing. If he ever decided to become a potter, he would be able to throw an out-door fountain with those hands. Thorough he is, gentle he's not.
Till next year, you bastard. . . . .
Get it done, guys. Your life depends on it.
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For sure. I'm getting the whole meal deal. I just did my corporate taxes, so the feeling of blood being sucked out of me is still fresh on my mind. But we need to keep the kitty flush, so we can offer medical help to Tim, should he ever need it.
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Robatoy wrote:

I *do* plan to die at the age of 125 at the hands of a jealous husband of a supermodel...
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Tim Daneliuk snipped-for-privacy@tundraware.com
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I do, too. But with my luck, I'll be innocent. -- Doug
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