OT--The Lawyer and the FHA

THE LOAN
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (Actual letter):
Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter): Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application.
I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.
Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?
The loan was approved.
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Nothing unusual about that. As a lawyer, he should have known that his colleagues are likely to challenge anything that would result in them collecting a fee, regardless of validity. I personally was obliged to pay for title insurance when we bought and when we refinanced for a lower rate on this property. The trail documented in the abstract was from (1837, when the Chippewa ceded it) "government of the United States to ... " up to yours truly, with no description like north by the elm, west by the willow, but rather Township, Range, section and quarter. You had to have insurance, period.
Also had to pay - twice - for a survey. To determine what, I'm not certain, given the description. I showed the guy where the monument was, and he left.
Now you want a neat story, I slipped while entering the well hole up at the church one day while I was helping with some plumbing, and gored my hand with the traditional rusty nail. Since I was in the service, I went to the hospital on base for a tetanus shot.
I later received paperwork in the mail asking for full documentation of the accident so that Uncle Sam could recover the cost of the treatment and shot. I filled it out, never heard anything further. First question was "Owner of Property," where I wrote "God."
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wrote:

See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/landgrab.htm
This is another one of those "De guvm'nt is dummer'n I" right-wing urban myths.
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But it's still durn funny: :-))
GregP wrote:

--
Will
Occasional Techno-geek
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Does that mean the left wing thinks the gubmint is smarter than they are?
todd
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wrote:

Does that mean that the only alternative to black is white (or visa-versy, depending on your personal political predilections :-) ?
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GregP wrote:

And if anyone needs any further proof of that, I'll dig up my mortgage papers. It was all I could do to sign my name to that pile of gook without taking a red pen to it to correct all the horrible grammatical and spelling errors.
The lesson I took away from that was that banker types must have all gotten crappy grades in English, and it doesn't stop them from driving Vipers. Being literate is less valuable to one of those critters than being slicky.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
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