OT: Simple English

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As you may have noticed, I decided to play hookie from the shop today. ========Subject: Simple English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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+1
nicely done.

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Winnipeg sent it to me, and he got it from a hooker in Havana...so I don't know who to give credit to.
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Robatoy wrote:

Hookers never accept credit.
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Sure they do.
https://my.democrats.org/page/contribute?source=NETA453
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Troll!
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Humorless leftist twit. ...though I repeat myself.
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Fuck off.
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Your ox gets gored and you can't come up with an answer (not even IKWYABWAI). You can't even ignore it. You must lash out and then use foul language. No surprises; typical leftist.
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Dear Keith,
It's a woodworking newsgroup.
yes, politics get discussed and posted. Members then take it upon themselves to weigh the on-topic contributions to decide who is worth keeping around and who is not.
As such, dear Keith....
<PLONK>
Wow, that was easy.
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Wow, I'm impressed at your childishness. You and Robby are quite the couple.
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In wrote:

Do you realize that that 4-letter word is an acronym for:
"For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" and was instigated by the Bobbies in Queen Victoria's time?.
P D Q
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http://www.snopes.com/language/acronyms/fuck.asp
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In wrote:

Right, wrong, or indifferent, It seemed quite apropos LOL P D Q
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I thought so... and I'm pretty sure the troll knows what it means to be TOLD!
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You are such a baby, Robby. Grow up man!
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At least I'm not yellow.
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On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:32:24 -0800 (PST), Robatoy

You mean you finally got your jaundice cleared up? :)
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On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:32:24 -0800 (PST), Robatoy

A childish moron, for sure, but we have no idea how wide your stripe is.
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wrote:

It is nothing of the kind.
You are apparently unaware that the word predates Victoria by _at least_ three and a half centuries. The first known appearance _in print_ is dated 1503, and the word is almost certainly _far_ older than that.
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