OT: Shrub humor

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country.
Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic, and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
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Another funny one.
Had Al Gore yelled, "Global Warming!", he would be dead.
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Reminds me of the story of a gentleman who hoped to get a jump on the devilment of Devil's night by moving his own outhouse and camouflaging the pit. In the course of which he slipped in, and was unable to get out.
He yelled "fire" often and loudly until the volunteers arrived with a ladder, rope, and hose to pull him out and clean him off.
The chief, puzzled, asked "why were you yelling 'fire?' Don't you know you've got half the town here unnecessarily?"
"If I had yelled sh*t, would anyone have come?"
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Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy."
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Ha ha! But who are the 156 million very happy people? Does this joke find its origins in the 1950s when the population hit 156 million - perhaps during the 1956 presidential election. Who didn't want to see that uppidy egghead Adlai Stevenson tossed from a plane? Or does it imply that all Republicans are very happy whenever human beings are tossed from aircraft and left to splatter - perferrably, I suppose, on Barbra Streisand's pool deck. Ha ha - blood and guts everywhere. It would be funnier if she had to clean it up but Barbra probably has a maid or something. It must be blood that makes Republicans happy. They're the ones who want to prolong Mr. Bush's War but I doubt there are 156 million of them...
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