I'm sorry to learn of your loss. None of us will live forever; my dad
only made it to 72. I'll always remember something the pastor said
around that time. He said that people live on in at least 3 ways: In our
memories, in what they built (including family), and through what they
taught others. It has been both a source of peace and understanding to
me to observe that he was right. It sounds like your mother is the one
who will most need the extra efforts from you and your other family
members who can help. I wish you all of the extra strength that you'll need.
When those, close to me or whom I have come to know, have such a loss,
I, in my own quiet way, am often transfixed with their loss, their
descriptions of their loved one and what that person meant to them. I
try to learn, through their words, what, exactly, it is they have lost
and I, somehow, try to feel it for myself. I lost my dad when I was
nine. It is times as these that I wish I had such memories as yours.
There is a portrait of my dad that commands a wall, all for himself,
in my old shop. I have often wished he could see me now. I think he
would be proud.
I give a well deserved slatute to your Dad, Rob.
Dads are hard to lose, I know. Condolences on your loss, Toy.
Remember the good times.
The great thing about getting older is that
you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
-- Madeleine L'Engle
When I woke up this morning, I was missing my dad, who died a little
over three years ago (at 89 yr., 3 da.). There've been many times since
I've found myself thinking, "Hey, Dad would like that!" or, "Bet Dad
would find that as funny as I do..." In short, I've got a pretty good
idea what you're experiencing.
Enjoy the memories.
My most sincere condolences to you and your family.
While we do now know each other - I follow this group regularly and very much
learn from your posts.
Making it to almost 90 is no small accomplishment - amazing all the inventions
your dad experienced.
Not much to say, really. It all sounds too pat.
So I will give you my Dad's take (85) on this subject. If your father
had a good life, enjoyed himself and his family and didn't suffer too
much, he did just fine. Sounds like he knocked it out of the park to
I am sorry for your loss and hope you can keep the good thoughts in
your mind when you think of him. You know you have friends down here
in Texas, and we are thinking of you and yours.
As good as they can, I guess. They just found a malignant growth on
my Dad's face and removed it, and he now has a hold the size of a
nickel just under his cheekbone that oozes all day long. A specialist
will look at it to see if they need to cut more off, or to have chemo/
radiation (that won't happen). He is now completely confined to his
wheelchair, and has lost most of his dexterity. He is almost
I don't know how he does it, but he is in a strangely good mood most
of the time. We have just finished redoing all his legal stuff from
wills, powers of atty., etc., etc., so he is pretty relaxed about
that. I have cleaned out and am selling his old house after a bunch
of repairs, so that is almost off his plate. He stays active
mentally, so he loves it when I bring barbecue over to him (verboten
at his joint because of the onions and spices) and we have a nice
chat. If I cut up his food, he can spear it, so he feels pretty good
Mom.... well Mom is starting to check out mentally. She has a lot of
maladies that old folks have in her 80+ years, but her mental
faculties just aren't holding up. In a weird way, this works well
for my Dad as he says "I can't leave yet, someone has to take of the
old woman" and he makes sure she takes her medicines, goes to her
balance classes, makes her doctors appts. and eats. He has a sense
of purpose with her around, so it keeps him occupied.
last day. My Dad has seen a lot of that where is now, and he has his fingers
crossed that he will go the same way.
Thanks for asking, Lew. There are times I feel like the Lone Ranger
with all that going on, even though as I have said before I know I am
on a well worn path.
I will say one thing, though. I really do understand that old saying
"getting old ain't for the weak".
Understand, watched my mom slip away over a year and a half period.
She finally cashed her hand at 103.
As I opened your post and read your description of your Dad's skin
cancer, I'm thinking "What the Hey", small world.
I'm also recovering from a skin cancer procedure on my cheek
Certainly no where near as serious as your dad's, but still a skin
My condolences, Robatoy. You are fortunate to have had him around for so
many years and I am sure that the memories of experiences you enjoyed with
him will bring many smiles to your face in the future.
Loosing a parent is never easy but I am glad to hear he went quietly
in to the night and lived a long life. My deepest sympathies to you,
your family, and your mother. I hope you get more time with her.
I lost my father christmas eve in '93. He was only 73. I still want
to reach out to talk or show him something I've made because he would
have loved it all so much. I still have my mother but these years have
been hard on her. She's reached 87 and I hope to keep her a while yet,
god willing. I'm grateful for every day we still have.
That is what has us gobsmacked. Mother took a nasty turn for the worst
when her blood thinners went through the roof and started internal
bleeding. We rushed to London Emerg (an hour from here) as the only
ENT here in Sarnia happened to be away on holidays. (MUCH deserved,
the guy works his ass of and we know him well.)
The morning after we arrived in London, we were sat down and were told
to better make arrangements as mother wasn't going to make it. So we
booked a hotel and after making arrangements with friends and
notifying family we moved in and waited for 'that' phone call as we
tried to get some sleep. The next morning, we get a call, "She's
sitting up in bed putting some jam on her toast."
But she had taken a serious hit and was quite weak.
fast forward>>> We got things under control during the next couple of
weeks, and all seemed to be going better with her. A few dips, which
kept us hopping.
In the meantime, my dad got fewer visits than normal, and he seemed
just fine, steady as always, loving the Lindor chocolates we always
Then mother faded again, getting most of our attention.... and during
which time, dad decided to sneak out the backdoor.
Yes, these things happen. It's good that you are not far from your
parents. I made too many trips back to Holland in days past ...
As far as Warfarin (Coumadin) is concerned, it's a good but difficult
drug. One needs to stay on top of the INR of the bleeding time.
Luckily, there are some new machines coming out that make in-home testing
more feasible. I'd look into that if you can.
For the story of the invention of Warfarin, and the role of persistent
cow farmers and the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation (WARF), see this
site (probably many more like that, but the story is good, IMNSHO):
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