1. Home
  2. Woodworking Forum
  3. OT: Duck

OT: Duck

Duck walks into a bar. Duck is only wearing one shoe. Bartender says: "Hey, duck, you lost a shoe!" Duck says: "Noooo, I found one."

Reply to
Robatoy
Loading thread data ...

Groooannnn

jc

It's not gonna stop me from retelling it, but still.....

Reply to
Joe

Boooo! Hissss! Bored are we?

That's as bad a joke as the first year I lived in my apartment.

Came home in the middle of a snow storm. I'm sitting in the hallway waiting about 10 minutes for my tires to dry before I go into my apartment. Super comes walking along and asks me what I'm doing sitting there in the hallway? I explain that I'm waiting for my tires to dry before going in and making a mess.

So he says to me: "That's all right. Leave the wheelchair in the hallway to dry and go into the apartment." "No one will steal it"

True story. *Only* time in my life I've ever been at a loss to come back with a smart ass comment.

Reply to
Upscale

Hardly. You need to look deeper into the philosophical parameters of the duck's orbit around his meager being. He found a shoe, and here a stupid bartender thought he had lost one. How sad is that? What does that tell us about the bartender? Look deeper into the duck, my friend. Look deeper into the duck.

Reply to
Robatoy

IMHO, that joke is right up there with: What is brown and rings like a bell? A: Dungggg

Reply to
Robatoy

I read this to my pet Woodduck and he whistled. I guess that means he thought it was funny too. =20 Marc (who is typing while his pet Woodduck watches from a perch near the computer)

Reply to
marc rosen

"Robatoy" offered his timeless advice

I don't know what to say.

I never realized you were so....., so...... DEEEEEEP.

Reply to
Lee Michaels

Or...

Q: What's green and goes backwards?

A: Peggy Phlegm

Reply to
Doug Winterburn

When you stare into the duck, the duck stares back into you.

Bob

Reply to
zxcvbob

Hmmm, Ok let me look deeper into the duck. Is it a thin duck or a plump duck? Wild duck or farm raised duck?

Here are my choices.

Duck Breast with Asparagus? Nope Duck Terrine Forestiere? Don't think so Duck foie gras? Yuck Barbarie Duck Stew with Blackcurrants? Maybe

Ok, my decision is made. It's going to be Roast Duck with peas and mirabelle plums. Strawberry shortcake for dessert and a rose wine to wash it all down.

Reply to
Upscale

That reminds me of a restaurant on Queen Street West called The Wooden Plate. (NO idea if it is still there.) On their menu they had a neat typo: Peeking Duck. The also offered epple sauce.

Reply to
Robatoy

If you stare too long night will fall. It will be dark and you will be eaten by a grue.

Reply to
phorbin

OmG - mirabelle plums. Been about 35-40 years, I still miss 'em. Never seen any Down Under.

Damn hawk took one of our ducks out t'other day as it happens - that's one less roast for me, as well :(

-P.

Reply to
Peter Huebner

Sounds as if someone's trying to roast /all/ the ducks down there. :-|

Reply to
Morris Dovey

I couldn't read it to the Guinea Pig. She's in school.

The cats and fish didn't seem to care.

How did you end up with a pet Woodduck?

Reply to
B A R R Y

HeyBarry Thanks for the interest. My wife and I have had ducks as pets since

1989. Our oldest is Lassie, a Mallard that we purchased from a breeder in 1990. She will celebrate her 19th Hatchday in April. Lassie is still very active for being so old. Anyway, about 4 years ago (in May) our neighbor brought us a day old duckling from his pond. He's had successful woodduck nestings since he dugout his pond 40 years ago. He saw this solitary duckling swimming around and checked the nest box, only to discover 4 dead ducklings and 3 unhatched eggs. He figured since we were so successful raising our Mallards we could give the baby Woodduck a good life. The Woodduck is so comical and animated, he makes the mallards appear boring. He sleeps in the house and has four separate perches where he stays so he can always be with us. One perch is by the computer and the other is by our back door so he can interact with our two pet Canada Geese. The other two perches are next to mirrors that allow Tee Nee to interact with himself. It's funny, he'll have these short battles with the duck in the mirror and then proceed to preen for about 5 minutes chirping or whistling the entire time. Sorry about the long answer to your question, but I like talking (typing) about my ducks. =20 Marc
Reply to
marc rosen

Can all these birds be toilet trained to go in a certain place? How do you handle that with uncaged birds in your house?

Reply to
Upscale

Lots of paper towels! The Woodduck is the only one who has "free range" in the house ( the other, older ducks who come inside stay in pens (meduim size pet taxis) on cold nights but go to their outside pens during the day) .His droppings are small and he rarely craps anywhere except on his perches. The perches are large, about 12 x 18 inches, covered with remnants of old bath towels, so most of the mess is contained. =20 Marc

Reply to
marc rosen

Are those birds friendly? Like... do you pet them? How are they with strangers? Do they let you know when they are hungry?

A client of mine has guard geese. Nasty!

Reply to
Robatoy

What's the best way to be deep?

You have to be very BORING!!! :-)

Reply to
Maxwell Lol

HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.