O/T: Senior Moment (figured you could relate)

[Lew Hodgett]

Enjoy Lew

---------------------------------------------- $5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.

Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to

the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the

harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.

He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change

hitting the counter in front of me.

"Only $4.68", he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet a mere child!

Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo.

Was he blind?

As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.

Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside.

I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!

What am I now?

A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"

I stared with utter disdain at the keys.

I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!

It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck.

I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.

What now?

I checked my keys and tried another.

Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus.

The car seat in the back seat.

Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.

A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.

That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach:

Hunger!

My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only

it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.

There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish.

All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"

At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my

vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue.

I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and

tugged on my jeans to get my attention.

He was holding up a drink and a bag.

His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK.

My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40.

Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.

And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall.

I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket.

I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Geoffrey Fischer

Plumbing Designer HRE-Inc.

530 N. Sam Houston Parkway E. Ste. 300 Houston, Tx 77060 Tel: [phone] x108 Fax: [phone] Email: [e-mail]

[Mike Paulsen]

Lew, this was funny the first time you posted it, but once was enough, OK?

[Keith Nuttle]

Don't make fun of him, he said he was having senior problems.

[RonB]

So? How is any of this unusual.

So? How is any of this unusual?

RonB

[Leon]

Looks like that one flew rway over your head.

[RonB]

Actually, with my experience with kids making change, I'm surprised many of them could figure out how to come up with $5.37. The cash- register computer does the math, but many of them can't count out the change.

They all carry lap-tops to school, but are any of them learning math?

Ron

[alexy]

Yeah, what is fun to do if they say the amount is $5.37 is to give them a five, a one, a dime, and two pennies. They will look at you with a WTF look, then enter it into the cash register and give you your three quarters of change with a look of awe. "How did he do that?"

[Morris Dovey]

Now /that/ is the true senior moment. :)

[Leon]

Actually, with my experience with kids making change, I'm surprised many of them could figure out how to come up with $5.37. The cash- register computer does the math, but many of them can't count out the change.

They all carry lap-tops to school, but are any of them learning math?

Ron

Making change is not so bad, relying on the cash register, it's that they can not count it back to you. They just dump a wad in your hand and recite what the register indicated to give as change.

[EXT]

The first time someone voluntarily offered my wife a senior citzen discount, she was offended, now she demands the discount whenever it is available. The first time is always the hardest.

[RonB]

I was probably being a little over-critical. Partly because I grew up in a family retail environment. My family owned a service station/ grocery business and later a grocery store. When I was nine, my dad fixed me up with a modified pop crate that I could use to reach the fuel tanks on diesel trucks so I could fill them. I was making change a year or two later. It just dumfounds me when I go into Wendy's or another fast-food store, and get the blank stare when a kid has to make change.

We are not equipping a lot of our youth to work. Our son is a construction superintendent for a good sized construction firm. He loves his Hispanic workers because they will work. They WANT TO WORK. He has said several times that the average life span of a gringo high-school grad, on his job, is about two weeks. By then most of them are physically exhausted, burned out and are looking for a good fast-food opportunity that pays less money. Just can't handle the work. Unfortunately, a surprisingly large percentage of construction management college grads suffer from the same disease. Our boy was offered an opportunity to go straight to the office from college and respectfully declined. He asked to be left in the field, were he and worked and interned part-time in college, so he could learn the trade from the trenches. I think it was a good decision that gained him some respect from the company, as well as personal knowledge. Now after about 8 years in the field with several large projects under his belt, he is thinking about taking a management job. Too many of his college grad colleagues think that an office, BMW and a new house are god-given rights right out of school.

I know not all young ones are lazy or dumb. Just too many of them. No wonder Japan and China are kicking our ass in engineering and manufacturing.

RonB

[Lew Hodgett]

Sounds like I need an editor. Want the job?

No pay, just the job.

Lew

[Swingman]

Hmmm ... I was pretty sure that his remark was just a pun on the "forgetful" theme of your story.

Maybe not ...

[keithw86]

The local theater gives senior citizen discounts to all over 55. My wife was quite happy to pay $5.75 instead of $8.75 (even though the money always comes out of my pocket). I have to admit that it's nice of them to give me a discount when I'm making more money and have fewer expenses than I ever have had.

[Mike Paulsen]

You sir, are correct.

[Lee Michaels]

"Lew Hodgett" wrote

Which begs the question, if you "hired" an editor, would you remember?

[Rick Samuel]

The

I disagree, was easy for me. Only one of the FEW benefits of getting on in years. Don't pass on any of them.

[Han]

"Rick Samuel" wrote in news:h5dqbr$vop$ [e-mail]:

62 is the age at which NJ Transit lets you ride for half fare one way tickets. MUCH better than a monthly.