O.T. Only in Oz

A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test. To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication. The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"..
--
Stuart Winsor

Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
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Stuart wrote:

That joke was told by Ronnie Corbett on the Two Ronnies television show umpteen years ago.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story...<G>
Damn I miss those two Ronnies.... I do revisit them via Youtube.. I saw Corbett on Morton just a few weeks ago... who would have thought he'd ever be OBE?
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wrote:

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story...<G>
Damn I miss those two Ronnies.... I do revisit them via Youtube.. I saw Corbett on Morton just a few weeks ago... who would have thought he'd ever be OBE?
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That is the trouble up in the Isa the place is so isolated and backward, that the jokes they receive, are about 15 years late and they actually think it originated in their little village. I think they have got five computers connected to the internet and three of them are in the school, one is in the local library and the other is being kept away from prying eyes and fingers in the local politician's office. School holidays are on now and there is a line of kids outside the library waiting to use their solitary internet link Which goes to show you where that joke came from
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I take it they are your Newfoundlanders? One Newfie wanted to get off the island so bad, he started rowing towards Nova Scotia. When he was 3/4 of the way there, he realized he'd never make it, so he turned around and rowed home.
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When I moved to Nfld in 1986, I was told the only Newfie joke I needed while there:
Q: "What's black and blue and lies at the bottom of St. John's harbour?"
A: "A CFA who tells newfie jokes."
CFA is a "Come From Away", where away is anywhere in the universe except the island of Newfoundland.
Luigi
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"Luigi Zanasi" wrote:

while there:
Q: "What's black and blue and lies at the bottom of St. John's harbour?"
A: "A CFA who tells newfie jokes."
CFA is a "Come From Away", where away is anywhere in the universe except the island of Newfoundland. ------------------------------------
Location, location, location.
If you are in Canada, they are Newfie jokes.
If you are in the "Rust Belt" of the USA, they are Polack jokes.
If you are in Texas, they are Aggie jokes.
Location, location, location.
Lew
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Yup. If you're in England they're Irish Jokes, in parts of Ireland they're Kerry-man jokes and The Scots and Welsh joke about the English. (Not forgetting, if you live in Lancashire they're Yorkshire-men jokes and vise-versa). If you're offended by any of them you are seriously in need of a sense of humour implant.
--
Stuart Winsor

Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
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In Italy, they are Carabinieri jokes: the Carabinieri police force is not known for its intelligence, and I have had direct personal experience of that.
Luigi
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Much as I loved the two Ronnies (Best comedy duo ever, though I think Les Dawson and Roy Barraclough ran a close second, when they used to do their "two old women" sketches) I cannot recall the joke, though I can certainly imagine Ronnie Corbett sitting in his chair telling it.
Ronnie Barker/Gerald Wylie was one of the most talented script writers and comedy actors of all time. Apart from programs such as "Open all hours" I recall a couple of short films he made that had no dialogue what so ever.
--
Stuart Winsor

Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
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Extremely old joke.
On 04/10/2011 04:31 PM, Stuart wrote:

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