O/T: Octopus

Enjoy
Lew .................................................................................. Guy walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink and puts a paper bag on the bar.
Bartender asks, "What's in the bag?"
Guy answers, "My trained octopus."
Bartender asks, "What's does he do?"
Guy answers, "Plays musical instruments."
Bartender asks, "Any particular instrument."
Guy answers, "No, he can play anything."
Bartender says, "Bet I have an instrument he can't play."
Guy answers, "OK, how much you willing to bet?"
Bartender says, "$100."
Guy answers, "You have a bet", and they both put money on the bar.
Bartender goes in the back and returns with a trumpet which he places on the bar.
Guy shakes the bag, the octopus comes out of the bag, then slithers down the bar, wraps his tentacles around the trumpet, and plays "When The Saints Go Marching In".
Guy picks up the money, puts the octopus back in the bag, finishes his drink and leaves.
A couple of weeks later, guy comes back in the bar, sits down, orders a drink and puts the same paper bag on the bar.
Bartender says, "I remember you. Still got the octopus?"
Guy answers, "Absolutely."
Bartender says, "Bet I have an instrument this time that he can't play."
Guy answers, "OK, how much you willing to bet?"
Bartender says, "$500."
Guy answers, "You have a bet", and they both put money on the bar.
Bartender goes in the back and returns with an accordion which he places on the bar.
Guy shakes the bag, the octopus comes out of the bag, then slithers down the bar, wraps his tentacles around the accordion, and plays "Lady Of Spain".
Guy picks up the money, puts the octopus back in the bag, finishes his drink and leaves.
A couple of more weeks go by and again the guy comes back in the bar, sits down, orders a drink and puts the same paper bag on the bar.
Bartender says, "I remember you. Still got the octopus?"
Guy answers, "Absolutely."
Bartender says, "Bet I have an instrument this time that he can't play."
Guy answers, "OK, how much you willing to bet?"
Bartender says, "$5,000."
Guy answers, "You have a bet", and they both put money on the bar.
Bartender goes in the back and returns with a bag pipe which he places on the bar.
Guy shakes the bag, the octopus comes out of the bag, then slithers down the bar, wraps his tentacles around the bag pipe, and starts to roll down the bar, finally falling on the floor where the octopus continues to wrestle with the bag pipe.
Finally, the octopus and the bag pipe lay quietly in a heap on the floor without the octopus having played there bag pipe.
Bartender starts to reach for the money, but the guy stops him exclaiming,
"Wait",
"As soon has he figures out he can't fuck it, he'll play it".
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Don't get your hopes up Lew, I don't have a pet octopus. Marc
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