O/T: Got to love them Southerners

Enjoy

Lew ================================ Got to love them Southerners

Tennessee: The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help.

If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my earrings.'

Alabama:

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail', the successful hunter replied.

'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they inquired.

'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'

Texas: The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?

Don 't you see that sign right over your head'. 'Yep', he replied.

'That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

Kentucky:

A senior at UK was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Kentucky .

'When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Kentucky because everything happens in Kentucky 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'

Bubba replied, 'Did you see who it was?'

The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

Georgia:

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D.?'

The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

North Carolina:

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back.

He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.'

The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'

The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.

Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'

And this from South Carolina:

'You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.

Reply to
Lew Hodgett
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...and my property tax is 25% of what it was in the North.

Reply to
krw

krw wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

And now you get the usual reply for a gloat "You suck!".

Actually I can't wait to get my transplanted buttocks back to the South. Even my wife (Jersey girl from birth) wants to move. Anyone hiring a software architect in Charlotte?

Reply to
Brad Bruce

Hmm. Talk to Boeing. They just decided to build a manufacturing facility in South Carolina and intend to employ some 2-3,000 people. This follows their decision a couple of years ago to move their corporate headquarters to Chicago.

I don't know what it will take to get the attention of Washington state legislators; maybe if Microsoft moved its headquarters a few miles north to Vancouver...

Reply to
HeyBub

Damned fool legislators. I made the stupid mistake of moving to Connecticut for an engineering job, not knowing at the time that the land of the Connecticut Yankee had long since taxed most manufacturing other than defense contractors out of the state.

Reply to
J. Clarke

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

Noooo..thatsokay. You can keep that mentality/crowd all in the US of A. We're okay up here...really.

Reply to
Robatoy

----------------------------------------- Ironic how things change.

Talked to a supplier who had recently moved from Mass to CT (New Haven) and commented how much more advantagous it was to live in CT and escape the Mass tax structure.

This was 1964 and the space program was just really getting up to speed.

Lew

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

"Big wow". They moved about 500 jobs to Chicago. Their Wa. payroll is, last I knew, a bit under _85,000_ full-time positions. They were cutting jobs agressively for a number of years, to get the payroll under 100,000.

Reply to
Robert Bonomi

I understand and agree that such a move is unlikely. Vancouver is as "mellow" as Seattle and the current residents would blanch at an invasion of people with pocket protectors. Plus we've always considered Canada to be "America's attic," you know, the place you keep your crazy aunt. I was looking more at the fools in the Washington legislature...

We'd be tickled to have Microsoft move to Texas, with their $80 billion in cash (probably take TWO trucks to move that much), but since Bill Gates built his home in the side of a hill, he might be reluctant to relocate.

But maybe not...

How much does it cost to move a hill? Doesn't matter - Texas, like Microsoft, has a surplus in its accounts; we could offer to move the mountain (think "Mohammed") as an incentive.

Reply to
HeyBub

Fear not. San Antonio has about 300 full time Microsoft folks here as of this year, and their current facility has room for about 1500 or so.

They had a press announcement about mid summer by the head of the local software design division that said they were very pleased with its success and VERY pleased with the venue.

According to him, they were looking forward to their expansion.

Robert

Reply to
nailshooter41

It's not all due to government. The unions have pushed the pay rate for Boeing's employees to the point of being ridiculous.

Reply to
CW

There seems to be a lot of people around here that think the government doesn't take enough out of their paycheck so they elect people that will raise taxes as much as possible. Can't understand their reasoning.

Reply to
CW

That unionization has worked so well for the automotive industries and railroads etc... How to keep your job by killing your boss.

Reply to
Robatoid

They don't think the government takes enough money out of *your* paycheck. There is a difference, in theory. In reality, not so much. Lefties are always philanthropic with other's money. Their own, not so much.

Reply to
krw

They both suck. Also the highest utility rates and gas taxes.

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

But we'll get FREE healthcare

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

I lived in Ohio, Los Angeles and now east Tennessee where the taxes are low, mild winters, and mountains of all kinds of hardwoods--a woodworker's dream. The culture takes awhile to appreciate.

Reply to
Phisherman

You'd appreciate it more if you had a good-looking cousin of the opposite sex.

Reply to
HeyBub

And having local sources of "corn" isn't a negative either.

Lew

PS: BTW, it was 77F here in L/A on Monday. Cold Snap today, only 66F.

Reply to
Lew Hodgett

SURE, you do. Statements like that prove that you need a "free" checkup from the neck up.

Reply to
krw

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