O/T: A Damn Fine Explanation

Enjoy
Lew ----------------------------------------- The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children!
I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary resent, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
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Lew, I particularly liked the "anniversary resent" Kerr

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"Kerry Montgomery" wrote:

------------------------------ You were paying attention I see.
Lew
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Boudreaux and his wife Clotile would go to the state fair every year, and every year Boudreaux would say, "Clotile, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "
Clotile always replied, "I know Boudreaux, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
One year Boudreaux and Clotile went to the fair, and Boudreaux said, "Clotile, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
To this, Clotile replied, "Boudreaux, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks"
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word I won't charge you a penny! But, if you say just one word then it will cost you the fifty dollars
Boudreaux and Clotile agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still, not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Boudreaux and said,
"By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Boudreaux replied, "Well, to told you the truth, I almost said something when Clotile fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
--
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Last update: 4/15/2010
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Now, that one made me laugh. <G>
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