Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.

Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.
**********
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!" "Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big is your army ?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lord above!", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!" Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jumpins!" said Archie, "l'll have to call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?" Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
Canadian and Proud of it !!
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"Upscale" wrote:
RE: Subject
You owe me a monitor<G>.
Lew
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Very good!!! I have met enough Newfies that I heard a Newfie's voice when I read this... Hilarious!!
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On 1/19/11 7:57 PM, Robatoy wrote:

Were any of them sober?
--
Froz...


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wrote:

You're kidding, right? <G>
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On 1/19/11 8:11 PM, Robatoy wrote:

It is my goal in life to find a sober Newfie. :-)
--
Froz...


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"FrozenNorth" wrote:

------------------------- About the same degree of difficulty as finding a sober Irishman.
Lew
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One of my daughters favorite jokes is a simple one liner: "three Irishmen walk out of a bar..."
--
Frank Stutzman



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Half of the Newfs are descended from the Irish, the others from Western England. When I hear an Irishman speak, it sounds exactly like someone from the the Avalon Peninsula.
Luigi
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oldie but goodie
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"
The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"
The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."
The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.
The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
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wrote:

Those brave lads on the rock. C'mon my fellow Canadians!! Just another 1/2 hour should do it.
P
--- ---
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Good one!!!
Those brave lads on the rock. C'mon my fellow Canadians!! Just another 1/2 hour should do it.
P
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I'm a sober Newfoundlander at the moment
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"jim" wrote:

------------------------------- Should we be offering condolences?
Lew
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