How to infuriate your wife: Lesson 1

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Fri, Feb 20, 2004, 11:25pm (EST+5) snipped-for-privacy@earthlink.net (jo4hn) says: <snip> To Wife of NoName: When you boot this bozo out of the house, drop me a line. I'll give you a hundred bucks cash for his stuff and I'll even pay the shipping.
Somehow the other day I tuned in to the Riki Lake show. They were featuring guys who collected things, and their families thought they were nuts, so I watched. They had appraisors there too.
One poor SOB had been collecting sports cards since he was about 5 YO. His wife decided she wanted the space in the garage for her stuff. So she sold his cards. Without asking him. Guy showed up the morning after she put the ad in and took the lot - for $200. The first the husband knew about it, he went to the garage, to do his montly value check. He somehow salvaged 17. They were re-pops of 60s cards, not originals. Even so, the expert said they were worth from $25-$50 each, for a total value of $800. So, with 100,000 cards, that could figure out to a potential $2.5 million, or even more. Even at one cent per card, it still would have come to $1,000. Her only comment was she was happy they were gone, and she was going to try and get rid of the remaining 17 too. He said he loved her and would stay with her. He never did say what he thought the value was. Hell, even women in the audience were saying he should dump her. I figure, at the least, he should have dumped her, and asked for spousal support, justified by the fact that she's apparently doing so well, she can afford to get rid of a potential fortune, for only $200, so she could surely afford spousal support. I don't think I could stay with someone that stupid.
JOAT Georges Clemenceau supposedly said, "War is too important a matter to be left to the military". If this is so, it is then obvious that peace is too precious to be left to politicians.
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT Web Page Update 28 Feb 2004. Some tunes I like. http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKEVOCALS /
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Buy it. Be King. Enjoy. Shop for new tools or new wife, your call.

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Buy some Post It Notes. Two colors, red and green. Start labeling things as "Mine" (green) and "Your's" (red). Tell her it's just to make the legal proceedings go so much faster. Agreeing on disposition of property also reduces lawyer fees.
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On 20 Feb 2004 21:45:54 GMT, snipped-for-privacy@aol.comAntiSpam (NoNameAtAll) wrote:
|I've had my eye on a dust collector, jointer, and planer for quite some time, |and all three went on sale recently. In the case of the planer there was also a |rebate that expired until this past weekend. I was afraid if I didn't jump on |these items they'd jack up the prices and I'd be out of luck. As it happened, |all three were on significant backorders already. So I talked my wife into |letting me order all three with the understanding that they wouldn't ship for |quite a while (and hence we wouldn't be billed for quite a while), and that we |could even cancel them if we decide we can't afford them. | |Then yesterday I got word that the dust collector has already shipped. To top |things off, today I got word that the planer will ship within the next week. |Needless to say, my wife is not happy with me. My jointer order is hanging by a |thread now. One misstep and she's going to pull the cord, though I'm assured by |the distributor that they don't expect any until late March. Anyone care to |offer some marital advice on how to handle this delicate situation?
Tell her that you love her and you're sorry that things are coming in quicker than expected. Remind her that (I think this is the case) she "approved" the purchases, so the total expenditure shouldn't be an issue, only the timing.
Offer to cancel the jointer order if she *really* insists but let her know that you need it eventially and buying it later might be more expensive. If she insists that you cancel, so be it. Buy it later at higher cost. Beside there will be an improved model out next week anyway and you'll be glad you waited. And you can take this to the bank: divorces are expensive.
My bride's father was a finish carpenter/painter so she grew up around tools. In fact she says that she couldn't be married to someone who can't fix things so if I say I'm interested in a tool, she says, "You handle the money, if you think you can afford it, buy it."
(Is this a gloat?)
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Does she have a good looking sister? Or does she fool around? (just kidding!)
Vic

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<<snippage>>

NOt too sure about being a "gloat", but I'd go with "drive-by".
And yes, my wife is very much the same way except that she'll figure out how to pay for something.
Mike
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(NoNameAtAll)

If it is then so is this: My wife tells me to go buy tools even if I haven't expressed a personal interest in buying them... She must have mentioned that I need a lathe about ten times in the past month and I only upgraded to the Jet cabinet saw in early January!
I think this latest push is because when I come home from the woodworking club meetings I tell her about the latest wonders that guys in the club showed that night. To give you an idea of the caliber of the work one of the guys had a segmented turning in FWW last year and will be on HGTV this spring (I think it will be on Modern Masters???). Last night a guy in his late 80s gave a guest presentation of some of the most amazing work any of us had ever seen. He has won awards for his clocks, e.g., "most complicated movement" and has some on display in museums. He also made myriad other very complicated and extremely well executed items that involved turnings.
So now my wife figures I need a lathe. I think she mistakes my admiration of the work of other's for a ploy on my part to get new tools. ;-)
John
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John Grossbohlin wrote:

She'll be sorry, but you won't. Lathes are fun. Unfortunately, they're more fun with a big budget for accessorizing, and you can *really* accessorize.
(Not being able to afford to accessorize, I can can attest that it's possible to have a lot of fun with nothing more than a quality mini lathe, a few hand saws, and a basic set of Chiwanese lathe tools from Harbor Fright. There are many things I can't do, but I haven't run out of projects yet.)
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wrote in

SWMBO sat down while I was watching "Woodturning Basics" on DIY, then I noticed she was coming in to watch every time it was on. Third time she saw it she says "Y'know that doesn't seem all that hard and it looks like fun. You planning on getting one of those?"
So, now I've got my eye out. :-)
Dan
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Tell 'er you need the big Oneway. I can't believe how many guys in the club have one.

Ain't it great? Our (collective) club has to be some of the most talented woodworkers in the country. I can't wait 'til Showcase.
Jon E
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message

I'm looking forward to Showcase also. I'm also hoping to finish a small chest of drawers in time for Showcase... handcut dovetail case and drawer construction and handcut daddos for the drawer frames. I'm running out of time! My kids have been doing so much "work" in my shop that I'm way behind on my own project plans. It's been a lot of fun teaching them how to make things though so I don't really mind.
John
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Wes Stewart wrote:

Yes. You suck!
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Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
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You get a gloat...marking it down now with LB next to it (lucky bastard)
(NoNameAtAll)

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Mine goes with me to help pick new tools purchases out. Color seems to be more an issue with her, says that one won't go with that green table saw as well as that other one over there.
;-)
KY
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YES, this is a gloat! The most valuable lesson I ever taught my wife was that good tools work better and in the long run cost less!
Wes Stewart wrote:

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Get the jointer, keep the tools - dump the wife.
hth,
Vic

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Vic Baron responds:

Sure. As one wife said, she was the housekeeper. Ditched several husbands, kept the houses--and almost everything in them.
Charlie Self "Health food makes me sick." Calvin Trillin
http://hometown.aol.com/charliediy/myhomepage/business.html
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NoNameAtAll wrote:

Hmm. I was just thinking that this might be a good time for Leslie to chime in with something /constructive/. <s>
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Chocolates, roses lots of apologies and the offer to return the jointer. If she has a hobby ( my wife's is sewing) try a counter bribe if you bank account will stand it. Oh yeah lots of smiles and doing of her share of the chores (however you usually devide the house work)
Joseph.

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...all this talk of "coddling" them...why??? If you earn the money and enjoy the hobby, then treat yourself. If you don't it is probably a good bet she'll spend it on stuff you will not be able to see the logic in (try to figure out that female mind and you will then learn the origin of insane asylums).
If you don't heed this advice, then you are doomed to an early grave and your wife will take up with the pool guy in the mansion she buys with your insurance money.
Just MHO mind ya...

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