How to handle telemarketers

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How to handle telemarketers
One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer.
I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: (swallowing) - Me: Hello - AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... - Me: Is this AT&T? - AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... - Me: This is AT&T? - AT&T: Yes This is AT&T... - Me: Is this AT&T? - AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please? - Me: May I ask who is calling? - AT&T: This is AT&T. - Me: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
- Me: Hello? - AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? - Me: May I ask who is calling please? - AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... - Me: Is this AT&T? - AT&T: Yes this is AT&T... - Me: This is AT&T? - AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron? - Me: Yes, is this AT&T? - AT&T: Yes sir. - Me: The phone company? - AT&T: Yes sir. - Me: I thought you said this was AT&T. - AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company. - Me: I already have a phone. - AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron. - Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.
When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this lady was persistent.
- AT&T: Mr. Byron, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate." I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering. - Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? - AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes - sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! - Me: 7 days a week? - AT&T: That's right. - Me: 365 days a year? - AT&T: Yes sir. - Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! - AT&T: We think so! - Me: That's quite a sum of money! - AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up. - Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? - AT&T: Excuse me?
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wrote:

I once asked a female telemarketer who kept on after I'd said no, "listen, if we were on a date, and I eventually made a move, and you weren't interested in whatever I was moving to, and you said 'no', would you want me to keep moving, or would you want me to stop?"
Brought her up short, I'll tell ya.
If they didn't catch on and just replied, "I'd want you to stop," I'd say, then you *do* understand the meaning of 'no'. "
I don't ever hang up on them. I'll set the phone down and walk away, but hanging up just gives them that much more time to harrass someone else. The longer I can keep them on my phone (whether I'm participating or not), the fewer other calls they're going to be able to make.
No need to thank me. Just my small contribution to society.
--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
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I like to let them tell me who they are, say "Bill" for instance, and then wait a moment. Then when they say "hello?", in my most old, grandmotherly voice I ask,"Billy... would you please come visit me? I am <so> lonely since Charles and the kids died..."
They always hang up on me.
My variant, again, in the most thin, pleading, grandmotherly voice you can muster:
"Billy, are you bringing my medicine? You were supposed to be here yesterday and now I am so sick... please come over and help me... I really need help... I need my medicine so bad..."
*click*
Works every time.
Robert
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

Try this one: "No, he doesn't live here anymore, would you like his new number?"
If they would, give them the number for the anatomy lab at the medical school, the morgue, the local mortuary, the prison, or whatever of that nature floats your boat.
--
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--John
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wrote:

Doesn't work. Robot dials whatever number is next in line. The callers are in the business of _talking_, not _listening_. They don't pay attention even when you do all that's supposedly required under law and say "don't call again." Mom was gone more than six months before one boiler room trying to get her to renew a subscription finally looked up the definition of "deceased."
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says...

Damn, you guys sound like a bunch of junior high school kids, playing with the phone. Here's a great new idea: next time a telemarketer calls you...
Just hang up the f*cking phone! How hard is that, anyway?
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That's exactly what they want you to do. Get you off the phone as quickly as possible so they can move on to a more likely prospect. Time is money to them.
If you want to facilitate their business model, by all means "hang up the f*cking phone."
As for me, they're going to pay to bother me. They may not pay me, and it wouldn't be much anyway, but no one wastes my time for free.
--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
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LRod wrote:

That's fine, if they can find some other fool who will fall for their 0nonsense, what business is it of mine? Or yours? I don't know about you, but my time is valuable and sitting there dicking with some zit-faced teenager who is trying to make a couple bucks isn't a worthwhile use of my time.
--
Blog Me! http://BitchSpot.JadeDragonOnline.com

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On Mon, 31 Mar 2008 06:21:50 GMT, Brian Henderson

Good for you.
I'm retired. My time is completely my own. I can pursue whatever hobbies or other pointless endeavors I wish. Wasting a telemarketer's time is no less a worthwhile activity than any of a multitude of other recreational paths people follow, even when their time is too "valuable" to be interested in mine.
--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
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LRod wrote:

Even if I was retired, my time would still be more valuable than that. Maybe you need a good hobby (looking at the name of the newsgroup...) :)
--
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"T. Rex" wrote:

By hanging up on the caller, you lose.
The name of the game is to WIN and inflict as much PAIN as possible in ther process.
If you make the SOB hang up, you not only WIN, but make the experience PAINFUL for the caller.
Remember, when you have your foot on the SOBs neck, crush the f**king windpipe.
Lew
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T. Rex wrote:

No vengeance in that.
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--John
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J. Clarke:

And that would be ... <gasp> ... un-American!
Hang them all and let God sort them out!

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Rejnold Byzio wrote:

I think the other guy is the one that's gonna sort out telemarketers.
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RE:Subject
If the caller starts by identifying themselves:
Response:
"That's interesting, why did you say that?"
If the caller starts by asking qsking question:
Response:
"That's an interesting question, why did you ask me that question?"
Either way, SHUT UP and listen for next response.
If it takes longer than 2 minutes, I owe you one.
Lew
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Lew Hodgett:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA
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One of the best I've ever heard was by Tom Mabe. I've posted over to the binaries group with a WMV file that you'll all get a kick out of.
--

-Mike-
snipped-for-privacy@alltel.net
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Nix on that. Tried to post it but could not get it to upload. Oh well...
--

-Mike-
snipped-for-privacy@alltel.net
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Lately I just go along with them for a while, and then I ask for the company that they work for. Whether or not they give me their company name my next question is to ask them to let me talk to heir supervisor. By the time that I get the supervisor I have looked at my call display and written down their number (if it displays). I inform the supervisor that they have called a "registered do not call number" and that I am reporting them. Of course, they immediately hang up. One stupid company who was pitching "we can save you interest on your credit cards" actually called me every week for three weeks. I reported them each time, and now I haven't heard from them in 3 months. Most companies don't call again after the first time, but this one was stupid enough to do it 3 times. I'm sure it cost them plenty. Now, if I could somehow figure out a way to stop the politicians from calling with their recordings every other day. Unfortunately when they enacted the do not call regulation, they exemted themselves from having to follow it.
Charley
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After years on the various Do-Not-Call lists, and a phone company "Privacy Manager" subscription, I have to ask...
What's a telemarketer? <G>
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