How to build Noah's ark ???

Page 1 of 2  

Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.
I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the Second Ark ?
Please help.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Get a big tree (i.e. A Sequoia) Cut away anything that doesn't look like an Ark.
--
Sending unsolicited commercial e-mail to this account incurs a fee of
$500 per message, and acknowledges the legality of this contract.
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your soul.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Dave
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On 11/16/2005 9:47 PM TeamCasa mumbled something about the following:

Point, the ark was by Noah, not Moses.
--
Odinn
RCOS #7 SENS BS ???
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Not only that, Moses wasn't Jewish. He was a Levite.
--
Hank Gillette


Reasonable people can disagree about the conduct of the war, but it is
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
A Levite is one other tribes of the Jews
wrote:

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On 11/16/2005 10:49 PM Hank Gillette mumbled something about the following:

True, I did forget that point as well.
--
Odinn
RCOS #7 SENS BS ???
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Does that mean he wore jeans?
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
I can e-mail you some ark building wood once you paypal me!

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Bill Cosby said God told Noah how to build it!!
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
What's a cubit?
--
To e-mail, replace "bucketofspam" with "dleegordon"

_________________________________
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
the distance from your knuckle on the middle finger to the elbow is a cubit

Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Wed, Nov 16, 2005, 11:52pm snipped-for-privacy@adelphia.net (leonard) doth say: the distance from your knuckle on the middle finger to the elbow is a cubit
Ah, so if we hold up our middle finger to this guy, he can see a cubit.
JOAT Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Maybe you could quilt one. After all don't you think if we stop quilting now, the whole universe will collapse?
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
This goof ball seems to hit a lot of newsgroups.
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22Eliot+Coweye%22&hl=en
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
I'm still awake trying to figure out the anagram. Word puzzles were never my forte, and boy Did/do I suck at English. Pretty pathetic too, no? Tom
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
D'oh! I broke my own damn rule, again! Tom
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Wed, Nov 16, 2005, 5:49pm (EST-3) cia snipped-for-privacy@lycos.com (EliotCoweye) did burble: <snip> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin. But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the Second Ark ?
Punishment is divine? You're a sick puppy, and need help..
The word is, Noah got boatbuilding directions, from God. If God didn't see fit to give you any boatbuilding directions, looks like you're being screwed with. And screwed.
The Woodworking Gods tell me I've got nothing to worry about.
JOAT Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Eliot Coweye ate something that disagreed with him and hurled the following:

Easy. Gopher wood, about 11,000,000 bf. Pitch - figure 75,000 gallons for two coats, in and out. You can thin the first coat and 'wipe-on', but the second coat should be brushed. You'll need 3 sons, preferably the extra-husky variety. Hand tools are de rigeur, of course. You'll also need 100 years to build this sucker. IF you should live so long and actually finish the job, God said HE would bring the animals. Don't forget several extra packs of playing cards as the elephants are fond of sitting on the "deck".
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Related Threads

    HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.