Inanimate Objects Aren't
I've had a theory about small inanimate objects. The idea started coming into clearer focus as I got more and more into woodworking and small (relative to the Heavy Iron machines) inanimate objects began proliferating in The Shop. I put a tool or some other inanimate object down on a benchtop or shelf and when I go back to get it minutes, hours or days later - it's gone. When I don't need it, somehow it always manages to be in the way so I have to move it. But when I reach for it seconds later it has vanished, sometimes transported acrossed the shop and buried under other "stuff".
Now we all know that anything that can roll will. Has something to do with some guy named Newton. Why the inventor of the fig bar causes things to roll is a mystery to me but it's his fault that tools that can roll do. Anyway, anything with a cutting edge will, too often to be a coincidence, jump off a flat horizontal surface onto a concrete floor, almost always landing on the cutting edge or, worse yet - on the corner of the cutting edge - sort of like a cat landing on its feet or the jellied side of a piece of toast always landing jelly side down. Not only will they jump - they'll hide once they make it to the floor, usually under something heavy - AND - next to, on top of, or under something that bites or scratches and may or may not be venomous.
This is actually a corollary to the theorem that all inanimate objects are very sensitive, insecure and have a self destructive streak. If they feel they've been slighted, or ignored for too long, they'll try to hurt themselves at the first opportunity. Two cast iron planes, placed feet apart will, for no apparent reason, inexplicably bang into each other, managing to chip off a piece of one or both or bend something that's suppose to be straight.
Understanding the psychology of your inanimate objects is the first step in getting them to cooperate with you and each other. You can reduce their insecurity by giving them a nice home - each a comfy place of its own - a place in a rack in a nice tool cabinet, a fitted resting place in a dovetailed drawer, for the really sensitive ones - a nice custom box, for carving tools - a snugly pocket in a tool roll as they seem more content amongst others of their kind. You will need to keep them separated or, like children in the back seat of a car during a long trip, they'll go into "He's touching me/ I'm not touching him!" or jostling and rough housing mode.
Be warned however, once each has a home YOU MUST return each to its respective residence. They can be very territorial and the last thing you want is for a war to break out In a wall cabinet full of sharp things.
Spend some quality time with each of them and make sure you're generous with compliments. "Now this is a wonderful tool - nice to look at, just the right feel in hand and it does its job better than any other tool in the shop!" "You're a joy to use!" With mortising chisels you should avoid terms like "pretty" or "beautiful". Try "Now this is a beefy SOB, a REAL chisel." With small paring chisels and japanese dovetail saws say things like "What an elegant tool, so delicate yet so effective." Or "DEADBLOW - a perfect name for a perfect tool!" When you get visitors to the shop brag about them a little, the tools, not the visitor.
NEVER get angry at a tool or cuss at it or call it names - unless the name is an affectionate one. If a tool misbehaves it's usually because of something stupid YOU did. Cutting tools WILL think that any blood loss or stitches are THEIR fault and that can lead to depression. Depressed tools don't work very well. If you get injured by a tool make sure the tool knows It was due to your carelessness or poor technique.
Start each day in the shop with a pleasant greeting "What a glorious day we're going to have." Visit with each one during the day, if only for a moment, and things will go a lot better. At the end of the day thank them and affirm their worth before turning off the lights.
And if you can, get some Camelia Oil. Edged tools LOVE Camelia Oil.
charlie b