FS: Cabinet Saw, Used Once, Usual Pitting in Miter Slots Where the Blood Pooled

Due to economic downturn and changed career plans, I am forced to place at auction my best power tools, sufficient to equip small commercial shop.
All were mint.
Items as follows: 1) Radial Arm Saw, used once to cut iron, blade likely removable with jaws of life. 2) Lathe, 48" centers, used twice, comes with most of two flannel shirts. 3) 10" Cabinet Saw, used once, usual pitting in miter slots where the blood pooled. 4) Scroll Saw, used once, my friend will very much appreciate return of any fingertips found inside. 5) Bandsaw, used once, see #4. 6) Shaper, used once, pulls long hair very strong and tight. 7) Nail Gun, used once. 8) Plunge Router, used once, lived up to its name. 9) Biscuit Joiner, used once, ineffective on muffins. 10) Veneer Press, used once, vacuum too strong for pants. 11) Stationary Grinder, used once, advise review meaning of "stationary" versus "stationery." 12) Thickness Planer (15"), used once, works good, but not for cheese. 13) Chainsaw, used once, don't ask. 14) Jointer Planer, never used, partway adjusted knives went missing while at lunch. 15) Air Compressor, used once, proved unsuitable (highly) for erotic entertainment. 16) Overhead Power Winch, used most of once, well-suited to hanging engines or sweaters, angers co-workers as (highly effective) wedgie machine. 17) Whole-Shop Cyclonic Dust Collection System, used once, strong suction, see #15. 18) Life-Line Emergency Signaling Device, used +/-17 times.
NOTES:
Ads to run next week in Soldier of Fortune, Christian Science Monitor, and Vogue.
One money gets each.
All were mint.
Bid high and win!!!
Highest offers accepted or trade all for beginner's macram set.
You have my word, this post 100% true or my names not Guy Lyon!!!!
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Don't forget to submit a copy to rec.humor.funny.
Puckdropper
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

<snip>
This belongs on the wreck.norm humour page.
Luigi http://www.yukonomics.ca/wooddorking/humour.html
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.