dulling a gloss finish

I've used a melamine lacquer finish on an oak table top; unfortunately it is too glossy and shows up small sanding hollows where I had to deal with grain tear out. Also, it was not very expertly applied, which means there are some bits with more lacquer than others.
How to make it matt? I've tried fine steel wool but it doesnt seem to have any effect -- if anything it makes it shinier. Am I perhaps using too fine a grade? What about wet and dry paper (sorry, don't know the American terminology for this)?
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if you are using 0000, try 000 instead
J Jenkins wrote:

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Put a couple of coats of a satin lacquer on top of the gloss. Typically this is what's done for satin finishes otherwise the grain of the wood tends to go away due to the solids in the satin finishes.
Gary
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On 28 Oct 2003 08:18:43 -0800, snipped-for-privacy@cix.co.uk (J Jenkins) brought forth from the murky depths:

Keep spraying and level it with a cabinetmaker's scraper. It will take the high spots off first. Scrape off the new finish leaving the finish in the tearout divots. Pretty soon, you will have the hollows built up with finish and can continue on to deglossing, though I've never heard of a melamine lacquer. I prefer hand-applied finishes exclusively.

If 0000 steel wool isn't matte enough for you, try 280/320 grit wetordry paper with paste wax. It leaves a nice low sheen.
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