Dead Cat Pushsticks no longer the Best Use

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turns dead cats into diesel

A German inventor says he's found a way to make cheap diesel fuel out of dead cats.

Dr Christian Koch, 55, from Kleinhartmannsdorf, said his method uses old tyres, weeds and animal cadavers.

They are heated up to 300 Celsius to filter out hydrocarbon which is then turned into diesel by a catalytic converter.

He said the resulting "high quality bio-diesel" costs just 15 pence per litre.

Koch said the cadaver of a fully grown cat can produce 2.5 litres of fuel - meaning around 20 cats are needed for a full tank.

He said: "I tank my car with my own diesel mixture and have driven it for 105,000 miles without any problems."

Annelise Krauss of the Dresden Animal Protection Association blasted Koch's new diesel though, saying: "This is as bad as experimenting on animals."

OK, 105,000 miles (why is a German talking about miles?) is about

170,000 km; don't know what kind of diesel he drives but he's an inventor, not an M.D., so let's say it's a Golf TDI, uses around 6 litres per 100km, divide by Planck's constant, carry the 2..... Holy Cow, the man has used 4,080 dead cats to get to work! Why isn't the Carpenter's Union complaining?

===== Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. ===== {remove curly brackets for email}

Reply to
Chuck
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Wow! If my car were a diesel, would get about 20mpc (miles per cat)...

However, I think the increased demand has pushed up the prices for the rest of us - I was just told that the price of dead cats through biological suppliers for dissections is going up. Oh, well.

Reply to
Andy

What a waste. Here is a much better use of cats.

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********Bill Pounds
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Reply to
Pounds on Wood

Hilarious story but:

2.5 litres of diesel weight how much? sg of .9 x 2.5l = 2.25 kg x 2.2 = 5 pounds (approx) in other words HALF of the average cat is diesel.

No wonder they don't like it when I throw fire-crackers at them.*

  • attempt at humour.

Waitasec... Tiger in your tank, huh? Huh?

Reply to
Robatoy

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