Corpulence

When I was young and tall and straight and - thin (and this was not so long ago) I could look south beyond my belt And down there see my wiggly toe
Both of them in fact A pair Of wiggly piggly toes And all the top part of my feets That were not hid by clothes
Some time back I came to notice My feets were gone My toes (and scrotus)
Hid beyond a vast horizon That had expanded as I'd wisened
(my wife insists I've merely widened)
(sigh)
The other day when in the shop I bent to grab a tool I'd dropped As I bent down my buttons popped That once held up my jeans
I swore at Messrs Coats and Clark Whose thread won't keep a button parked My arse exposed An so my tenders
(make a note to buy suspenders)
Lest you be oercome by mirth At my tale of expanding girth You must consider what it's worth To keep your body slim
Should I live on naught but greens At just the time I've got the means To buy myself a decent steak The very thought My heart doth break
No more beer nights with the boys (eating shit called "Healthy Choice") And all that frigging Atkins noise What's a man to do
I'll tell you that I've got a plan To conquer my expanding span A compromise Some give and take
I'll only eat when I'm awake
Thomas J. Watson - Cabinetmaker (ret.) (Real Email is tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet) http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1 /
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Great Prose!
We used to call the disease DickDo.... (as in my gut sticks out further than my Dick Do...)
Philski
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Ackshully it's better known as "Furniture Disorder" (OBWW)
Yer chest fell into yer drawers! <BSEG/GD&R>
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Hard to read while eating lunch!
Scott McCray wrote:

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Another masterpiece, Tom!
djb
--
Is it time to change my sig line yet?

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BRAVO BRAVO!!!
SteveP

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Tom Watson wrote:

Is that anything like a seefood diet? If so, count me in.
I have a penis down there somewhere, I think, on the other side of that big white hump.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan < snipped-for-privacy@users.sourceforge.net>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
  Click to see the full signature.
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big
One portly guy to another in the showers at the local gym:
"Have you thought about a diet?"
"Dye it? Hell, I don't know what color it is now!"
(insert groan here)
Rob
(who's loving the Atkins noise...to the tune of 46lbs!)
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