Cast iron follies

Page 1 of 2  
I thought some of you guys would enjoy this. It all happened in the last two hours.
My PM 719 mortiser arrived today.
8 inches of snow arrived yesterday (shut up, Houston and Daytona residents! <G>), making the walk-out feature of my basement not so useful.
The pallet had two boxes, a 55 pounder, and a 271 pounder.
The 55'er went right down the stairs in my arms. I unpacked the 271 pounder in the garage to find... AN ASSEMBLED MACHINE! Normally good, not so much right now. So, I think it through while I eat some pizza and study the manual.
I unpack the machine and convince myself that I can get it down the stairs on my hand truck if I securely strap it to the truck. After all, my hand truck has pneumatic tires and stair skids, I'm 6' / 245 pounds and exercise almost every day, and tool manufacturers almost always overstate weight these days! I'll just go one step at a time.
Using Yoga style leverage gyrations to get the machine out of the packaging, I web strap it to the truck. It's nice and secure. "No problem, I can do this", I tell myself.
I wheel it over to the stairs and drop it to the first step. The hand truck handle, with it's 4 1/2' mechanical leverage, almost throws me down the stairs as the machine wants to tumble forward! <G>
As fast as I possibly can, I drop to the floor, but the handle is pulling me down the stairs! I catch a knee on the door jamb and, WHEW! The motion stops. Even though the thing is trying it's darndest to pull me down, I get the ball of one foot on each door jamb. As I sit on the hall floor, spread legged across the doorway, it's taking quite a bit of strength just to keep it here... No way I can even remove one hand!
Did I mention I'm home alone?
Somehow, I manage to toss all my weight backward, against the hall wall, while at the same time pushing the handle down, enabling the stair skid to slide back into the hall.
I did get the thing downstairs by disassembling to three parts, and then strapping up the hand truck. I think I'll just enjoy some nice Harpoon IPA and wait to assemble it until tomorrow.
Damage is limited to 1/2" groves in the oak floor lip at the top of the stairs, but it can't be seen with the door shut. I also might need to steel wool the floor a tad, and wipe a little more Gymseal on. I put the floor in and finished it, so I can fix it!
My chestnuts and muscles have mostly returned to their rightful places. <G>
Most importantly, the tool is unscathed!
--------------------------------------------- ** http://www.bburke.com/woodworking.html ** ---------------------------------------------
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

That's only really funny because you and the machine both turned out fine.
But it *is* damn funny.
Joe
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
wrote:

ROFLMAO!!!! at least ya made it in one piece! enjoy the new tool.
skeez
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
B A R R Y said:

Aside from being a not so thinly veiled drive by, (you suck, BTW), that was a funny situation (in retrospect) I've found myself in a time or two before.
Try unloading a Unisaw from the back of a pickup by yourself; discovering just a bit too late to prevent oneself from being semi-trapped under both it and a hand truck, just how top-heavy the sucker was packaged.
Or moving an early 80's oak cabinet Zenith big-screen down a winding staircase at a local politicians house, and finding out halfway down that the length of the set exceeds the available (decreasing) radius.
Once your gonads have returned to their respective, proper locations, enjoy the new tool.
Greg G.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
Greg G. wrote:

My favorite was being chased down three flights of stairs by a line printer. For you young guys, a "line printer" is not one of those little things that you strap onto the back of your motorcycle and take home from CrapUSA, it is a rather large piece of machinery that is ideally moved with a fork lift. I'm very happy that I didn't have to move the Xerox photocopiers out--one of them wouldn't fit in a pickup truck.
And for future reference, when moving something large and heavy down stairs, skid it down on a line. (lay planks on the stairs so that it slides freely) If you've got a solidly mounted piece of 2" or larger pipe (mounted so it can't turn that is) three turns of rope around it will control surprisingly large loads. If that's not an option a Figure 8 Descender tied to a piece of 2x4 can be quite handy.
I generally just tie a tow strap around it and hook it to the tow hook on the Jeep, with just enough slack to get the load started down. Then I back the Jeep up slowly. That only works if there's a straight shot to the stairs from outside though.
All kinds of ways to move a load down stairs--the important thing to remember is to find a way to let gravity and friction do the work and be positioned so that if it lets go you aren't what stops it.
--
--
--John
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

*snip*
*snip*

We moved a pool table by sliding it on 2x4s. This wasn't downhill, but on flat surfaces. When we got to the stairs, the table just naturally slid easily. So, when moving heavy things don't be afraid to get the 2x4s out!
Find something bigger for a ramp, though... You'll get 90% of the way up and the wheels will come off! DAMHIKT, but it did make the story that little bit funnier. ;-)
Puckdropper
--
Wise is the man who attempts to answer his question before asking it.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I have only one thing to say to this... Hammer Flight Time Adjustments.
--

-Mike-
snipped-for-privacy@alltel.net
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

1403 Nancy1?
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
OK, I've read this response a couple of times now:
"If you've got a solidly mounted piece of 2" or larger pipe (mounted so it can't turn that is) three turns of rope around it will control surprisingly large loads. If that's not an option a Figure 8 Descender tied to a piece of 2x4 can be quite handy."
I can't imagine how he's mounting the two-inch pipe, ca't visualize the "surprisingly large loads" or the movement.
And, what is a "Figure 8 Descender?"
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Wrapping the rope several times around the pipe increases the friction of the rope with the pipe, allowing you to pay out rope slowly as the load slides down a ramp.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climbing_equipment
A movable pulley on an inclined plane works wonders, too. I moved a 400-pound table saw into the basement by laying it down on a shop-built dolly with a pulley at one end, riding on a plywood ramp nailed to the stairs. The rope passing through the pulley was secured at one end by tying it off to a 4x4 braced across the opposite side of a doorway, with my son (age 14 at the time) holding the other end. I walked beside it down the ramp to guide it, as my son payed out the rope. The pitch of the stairs is about 3:5, so 60% of the weight of the saw was loaded on the stairs, and 40% on the rope -- half on the fixed end, and half on the free end. My son only had to hold back 80 pounds.
--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I went to a county surplus auction once where an item listed on the prospectus was a photocopier- a single item lot at an auction where a typical lot was at least one pallet load of stuff- some of the lots were a dozen pallets of stuff.
the auctioneer got around to the photocopier and started the bid at I think $100. no bids, so he started dropping the price. he got down to $20 and was ready to give up and move on when a voice piped up "five dollars". the auctioneer hollered out "sold!" and the auction went on.
at the end of the bidding was the part where the guy with the forklift brings out the stuff for you. the look on the womans face when he brought out a machine the size of a large refrigerator on it's side was priceless.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

I'm having a difficult time visualizing this. How about you re-enact this and make a video so we can see what actually took place? Glad your gonads still work.
--
Ed
http://pages.cthome.net/edhome/



Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

No kiddin'. I laughed like hell just reading it.... but a video.... now you really got something!
Great story there, Barry.
Robert
(still snickering)
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
wrote:

Sure!
I'll film and direct, you can have the lead role.
We can hire Lee Gordon to professionally narrate the action and create a music bed.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

this
I've got full length feature you can film. It's 1994 and I've just moved my 6' long, 5' high, 21" deep entertainment centre (approximately 5 sheets of heavy veneered plywood worth of material) into my apartment. It's on a set of 10 casters so I'd be able to move it around when necessary from my wheelchair. However, the unit isn't stained, I figured I'd do it in my apartment.
Anyway, I've gotten in behind the entertainment centre and managed to tip it backwards with it leaning on two saw horses, one on each end with me in the middle. This is the only way I can readily reach the top of the unit so I can stain and finish it. I'm busy rubbing stain into it and I push too hard. Both of the saw horses slip out and the unit starts tipping further backwards, pushing me in my wheelchair with it. I can see my live flashing before my eyes as I get crushed underneath the thing. I end up with the back of my wheelchair pinned against the apartment wall and the entertainment centre towering over me and leaning on the armrests of my wheelchair. The damned unit is too heavy for me to stand upright, so I'm stuck. No more flashes of being crushed to death, now I'm imagining dying of thirst instead, stuck in this position. I'm sitting there about 20 minutes wondering what I should do. My first idea was to start banging on the apartment wall hoping to attract someone's attention, but then I'm thinking I'd die of embarrassment when I had to be rescued from this position. I can still remember thinking, "Hell, I'd rather die of thirst instead" because I know my neighbours and friends would never let me hear the end of it.
I guess that was all the impetus I needed. Out of sheer desperation, I was able to summon the strength to stand the unit fully upright and escape my impromptu prison. I finished staining and finished the entertainment centre a week later with a friend on hand who sat there drinking beer and smirking all the time while I was doing it.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

It's called Beer, Lee. And if you're smart, it's the promise of beer afterwards, not during.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
And if your Suckers errr buddies won't do it for cold beer a. look for new buddies b.enlist the help of your teenage daughter/granddaughter or niece and get the neighborhood teenage boys to move it for you. Teenage boys will go to great lengths to impress teenage girls with their strength.
--
Mike
Watch for the bounce.
  Click to see the full signature.
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
On Sun, 16 Dec 2007 00:52:55 -0500, "Lee Gordon"

That's awesome. <G>
Your van was big enough where you should have bolted the jointer to the floor and run an a/c cord out to the van!
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Son, didn't anybody tell you. . . "You got to be smarter then the machine"
Great Story! Glad you survived. Sounds like my Piano story.
Roy
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload
wrote:

Care to share? <G>
Add pictures here
<% if( /^image/.test(type) ){ %>
<% } %>
<%-name%>
Add image file
Upload

Related Threads

    HomeOwnersHub.com is a website for homeowners and building and maintenance pros. It is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.