A Sample Desultory Phillipic - Was: Oops!, Did I Do That?

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There once was a young man called BAD His life, on the whole, rather sad He found out the Wreck And he said, "What the heck!" "Here's a great place for me to be BAD!"
He had an unlimited budget He had almost limitless time He asked lots of frivolous questions He wasted some good people's time
If a troll is a duck Then he walked like a duck And he quacked like a duck But he's really a **** Something that rhymes
Oh, the Wreck this dude truly did haunt He would bray, he would cry, he would taunt He got folks in a lather With all of his blather This old rec-dot-norm dilettante
I for one have grown tired of BAD His presence here makes me feel sad And long for the old days And all of the "Just Say's" The witty repartees When even on bad days Reading the Wreck made me glad
Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
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Yes, Philippic was spelled wrong intentionallllly, in keeping with the subject.
Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
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Tom Watson wrote:

Perhaps, Phullypic. Nice and on point regardless.
Dave in Fairfax
--
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
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Tom, You have brightened my day.
--
Erik "Grumpa" Ahrens
ApprenticeTermite
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In the battle of wits some come unarmed and others come loaded for bear.
Tom you definietly fall in the latter category.
charlie b
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On Fri, 14 Nov 2003 22:12:13 GMT, Tom Watson
OK, now that you have it out of your system, will youse guys PLEASE stop replying to the twit and any of his threads? Pretty please? ---
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heart Attacks: God's revenge for eating his little animal friends -- http://www.diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development --
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Just say (tmPL), two hammer swollen thumbs up!
UA100
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Really? I didn't care for the mixing of meters.
And on that note, I happen to have here the second limerick book (More Limericks) and am saddenned to report there is only one limerick listed under Tom in the index. There are, however, several listed under Keith.
There once was a fellow named Keith. Who liked it above and beneath. His nights were so harried, As positions were varied, That he woke up with hair in his teeth.
I don't have the inclination to look up DAVE or BAD.
OBWW: I couldn't on short notice find any good woodworking limericks, though there may be some in the first limerick book.
--
Jeff Thunder
Dept. of Mathematical Sciences
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On 17 Nov 2003, Jeffrey Thunder spake unto rec.woodworking:

A top-posting dipshit named BAD Spent all of the money he had     On overpriced tools     Proving money and fools Are soon parted (though Home Depot's glad).
Scott
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In posting, the BAD One has never Uttered a phrase that was clever So instead we endure His written manure Apparently now and forever
This pea-brain from Frisco Bay Area He hates us, "You're idjits - the pair o' ya!" Though we try not to look And stay clear of his hook He infects us not unlike Malaria
So to rid myself of his clap-trap I've typed-up this rhythmic rap For to rhyme is quite painless To deal with the brainless Such that he drops offa the map
Humbly submitted - O'Deen
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On 17 Nov 2003, Patrick Olguin spake unto rec.woodworking:

By foolishly choosing to rassle With those who have wit far more facile     He has once again shown     Why he'll always be known As rec.woodworking's resident asshole.
Scott
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On 17 Nov 2003, Patrick Olguin spake unto rec.woodworking:

By foolishly choosing to rassle With those who have wit far more facile     He has once again shown     Why he'll always be known As rec.woodworking's resident asshole.
Scott
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Did I mention I unplonked you?
    Cramer is the Wreck's premier flamer         Who should offer a disclaimer     That he's into anal     Which can be quite painful
dave
Scott Cramer wrote:

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limerick ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lmr-k) n. A light humorous, nonsensical, or bawdy verse of five anapestic lines usually with the rhyme scheme: A A B B A .
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I know a limerick is \ five lines, but I penned this instead. You'll get over it...
dave
Caractacus Potts wrote:

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lines
As B.A.D.'s fantasy for Scott Cramer grows From his keyboard a pentalinear love sonnet flows At the thought of Scott's dumper Dave pulled out his thumper Got sidetracked and couldn't finish his prose
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CP,
Ok, you got a chuckle from me with that one...
Who is the mysterious Potts He posts here not a lot But when he does He creates such a buzz When he watches Scott squat
dave
Caractacus Potts wrote:

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On 18 Nov 2003, Bay Area Dingleberry sniffled unto rec.woodworking:

    Did I mention that I give a rat's ass?

    The poetry is marginal, but I can't argue with the voice of experience. Hardly what we're accustomed to, coming from you, but I'll concede your expertise in this particular matter. I would have said "bow to your expertise," but under the circumstances, bending at the waist seems ill-advised.
Scott

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:) Let's not get all mushy, or I might lose my breakfast.
Neither poetry or story-telling is my forte. 'Twas a struggle of immense proportions to come up with that little ditty. Someone pointed out that it should have been 5 lines. Like I didn't KNOW that? 'Course I did. I was employing a little poetic license...
dave
Scott Cramer wrote:

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A Troll named Bay Area Dave Was reportedly raised in a cave
What poems that he knew From the time he was two
Ended up with the line Burma Shave
Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
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