A Sample Desultory Phillipic - Was: Oops!, Did I Do That?

[Tom Watson]

There once was a young man called BAD His life, on the whole, rather sad He found out the Wreck And he said, "What the heck!" "Here's a great place for me to be BAD!"

He had an unlimited budget He had almost limitless time He asked lots of frivolous questions He wasted some good people's time

If a troll is a duck Then he walked like a duck And he quacked like a duck But he's really a **** Something that rhymes

Oh, the Wreck this dude truly did haunt He would bray, he would cry, he would taunt He got folks in a lather With all of his blather This old rec-dot-norm dilettante

I for one have grown tired of BAD His presence here makes me feel sad And long for the old days And all of the "Just Say's" The witty repartees When even on bad days Reading the Wreck made me glad

Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania

[Tom Watson]

Yes, Philippic was spelled wrong intentionallllly, in keeping with the subject.

Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania

[dave]

Perhaps, Phullypic. Nice and on point regardless.

Dave in Fairfax

[charlie b]

In the battle of wits some come unarmed and others come loaded for bear.

Tom you definietly fall in the latter category.

charlie b

[Erik]

Tom, You have brightened my day.

[Larry Jaques]

On Fri, 14 Nov 2003 22:12:13 GMT, Tom Watson brought forth from the murky depths:

OK, now that you have it out of your system, will youse guys PLEASE stop replying to the twit and any of his threads? Pretty please? ---

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Heart Attacks: God's revenge for eating his little animal friends --

Comprehensive Website Development --

[Unisaw A100]

Just say (tmPL), two hammer swollen thumbs up!

UA100

[Scott Cramer]

On 14 Nov 2003, Tom Watson spake unto rec.woodworking:

Bullseye, and I ain't talkin' shellac.

I have an idea! Let's split the group!

rec.woodworking.miscreants, and total.rec

Scott

[Renata]

You're a poet and I'm sure you know it (forgive me Bob Dylan).

I like - thanx for the grin.

Renata

[Jeffrey Thunder]

Really? I didn't care for the mixing of meters.

And on that note, I happen to have here the second limerick book (More Limericks) and am saddenned to report there is only one limerick listed under Tom in the index. There are, however, several listed under Keith.

There once was a fellow named Keith. Who liked it above and beneath. His nights were so harried, As positions were varied, That he woke up with hair in his teeth.

I don't have the inclination to look up DAVE or BAD.

OBWW: I couldn't on short notice find any good woodworking limericks, though there may be some in the first limerick book.

[Scott Cramer]

On 17 Nov 2003, Jeffrey Thunder spake unto rec.woodworking:

A top-posting dipshit named BAD Spent all of the money he had On overpriced tools Proving money and fools Are soon parted (though Home Depot's glad).

Scott

[Tom Watson]

You may enjoy more the mobiused meretricious metricality of:

Brayed Aria Dave is come out of the west, Through all the wide Wrecklands his tools was the best; And save his BAD thinking he knowledge had none. He rode all unlearn'd and he rode all alone. So lacking in thought and so prone to just rave, There n'er were a putz like Bay Area Dave.

(after Lochinvar- Sir Walter Scott )

Regards, Tom Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania

[admin]

There was young lass from Wat'loo, whose limericks ended on line two.

"There was a woodworker named Dave, His 'wreck" articles. quite brave. Its really quite sad, the troubles he's had. The tale is true, all his efforts are BAD."

[Patrick Olguin]

In posting, the BAD One has never Uttered a phrase that was clever So instead we endure His written manure Apparently now and forever

This pea-brain from Frisco Bay Area He hates us, "You're idjits - the pair o' ya!" Though we try not to look And stay clear of his hook He infects us not unlike Malaria

So to rid myself of his clap-trap I've typed-up this rhythmic rap For to rhyme is quite painless To deal with the brainless Such that he drops offa the map

Humbly submitted - O'Deen

[Bay Area Dave]

that's a start, but make the next one longer, to showcase your talent to it's fullest extent!

dave

[e-mail] wrote: snip

[admin]

*sigh* I think I'll just claim that that _is_ the extent of my talent.

"Brevity is the soul of wit." I prefer to keep things short, and be thought of as a wit, rather than expostulate at length, and prove that the world is only "half" right.

[Bay Area Dave]

So I guess my terse posts are a step in the right direction. (Although many would say if I didn't post at all, that would be many steps in the right direction!)

dave

[e-mail] wrote:

[Scott Cramer]

On 17 Nov 2003, Patrick Olguin spake unto rec.woodworking:

By foolishly choosing to rassle With those who have wit far more facile He has once again shown Why he'll always be known As rec.woodworking's resident asshole.

Scott

[Scott Cramer]

On 17 Nov 2003, Patrick Olguin spake unto rec.woodworking:

By foolishly choosing to rassle With those who have wit far more facile He has once again shown Why he'll always be known As rec.woodworking's resident asshole.

Scott

[Bay Area Dave]

Did I mention I unplonked you?

Cramer is the Wreck's premier flamer Who should offer a disclaimer That he's into anal Which can be quite painful

dave

Scott Cramer wrote: