Xmas DIY

[Owain]

Santa follows the example of the British Army squaddie and sticks a rocket up Rudolph's arse.

Owain

[John Rumm]

Trebuchet?

[nightjar]

I'm glad to hear that. When I used to edit a local magazine, far too many contributors sent in spoof articles without checking whether they were wanted. Had I published them all, in some months there would have been little real content.

How about instructions for making the perfect snowball or a snowman? Given your presumed location, it is not likely anyone will get a chance to test the instructions.

Colin Bignell

[Zoinks]

Huh? What has planning got to do with Xmas and/or DIY? Oh, except for steaming Joe Public insisting that their application for a ridiculous unsightly extension absolutely must be through by Christmas :o)

Z.

[Peter Parry]

Strap on JATO packs.

[Guy King]

The message from Peter Parry contains these words:

This has the makings of an urban myth.

[Andy McKenzie]

Once again - no one is reading NewScientist - where a report has suggested that super conductors and rapidly rotating things can change the mass of gravitons, implying that anti-gravity, tractor beams and repulsors etc might be possible (in the same sense that travel through worm holes might be possible if one just had a convenient black hole).

It is well known that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, and the North Pole is very, very cold, probably cold enough to render the reindeer's shoes superconducting. The rotation is supplied by small silver balls that are spun at very high rates (the reason why baubles are put on Xmas trees). This also explains why Santa Claus comes around in the eraly hours of a mid winter morning - this is to keep the sleigh cool and keep the superconductors superconducting.

Of course it's just possible that I have got the science slightly confused....

Andy

[Phil Kyle]

"fred" verbally sodomised in news:45528ec5$0$12988$ [e-mail]:

Why don't you post as Ray Cutler any more?

[Guy King]

The message from "Andy McKenzie" contains these words:

So, we've got to get the buttered toast/cat arrays fully up to speed and we're in business.