OT Totally, and a little bit rude... The side effects of fixing empty buildings...

... is that TV Licensing cannot cope with the concept that you don't need a licence when you don't have any TV apparatus.

Long story short - told them the situation by phone and in writing. Still get reminders each month.

But this one really p*ssed me off;

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redacted so pikeys don't raid my house hoping for tools, which there aren't...]

So I sent them this:

(very very unsuitable for work and kids)

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't do any good - but I needed some ventilation in the spleen area.

I'm normally such a reasonable person (ha!)

Cheers

Tim

PS

Am I going to prision now?

Reply to
Tim S
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Reply to
Mike Dodd

Bloody brilliant!

Reply to
The Medway Handyman

The Medway Handyman coughed up some electrons that declared:

Yes - it's really in the postbox as of now.

Based on my experience working in the JobCentre, I expect the staff will pin it to the wall in the tearoom, along with the other best 10 of the month ;->

What I really would like is for their enforcer to show up in person, whilst I'm wearing my steelies and have a wide variety of lethal powertools to hand.

Reply to
Tim S

Unfortunately 99.9% of the population are totally addicted to the Idiot's Lantern and find it impossible to believe that there are still some of us who never watch it :-(

Reply to
Hugh Jampton

Hugh Jampton coughed up some electrons that declared:

I watch it when I wish to achieve selective vegetative degeneration, and I have a bloody licence at the address where the TV is - which makes me doublepluspissedoff.

Must be one of those days. Can't get my domain registrar to unlock my domain so I can get my ISP to take it over. Two polite phone calls have had me assured it would be actioned today. Not...

Last email threatened them with a cron job auto-emailing a support ticket in to them every 5 minutes until it's done, if they don't sort it out tomorrow. I will too...

Reply to
Tim S

You forgot to say that you won't be calling their revenue sharing 0844 number, and was the purpose of the letter to gather that revenue...

Reply to
Bob Eager

Give them a deadline, and say that after that you're going to Nominet. That tends to do it..

Reply to
Bob Eager

Bob Eager coughed up some electrons that declared:

Yes - an excellent tactic. Before or after I mail-bomb them?

Reply to
Tim S

Whilst it's tempting, the most effective tactic is to chuck their letters straight in the bin.

In case anyone doesn't know, TV Licensing is a private company with no special legal powers of any sort.

If someone came round your door demanding to inspect your toaster, you'd probably send them packing.

TV Licensing is in exactly that position. But they pretend otherwise.

So give them nothing, nada, not your name, not the time of day. Don't give them the tiniest scrap of information about yourself, your home or any other qustion they may ask.

Reply to
dom

Bob Eager coughed up some electrons that declared:

It would be worth the money to give them a verbal rendition of my letter :) I'd have to do it from work - my colleague would make an excellent duo for this sort of thing - he's an expert in berating idiot suppliers to their ears.

Though I suspect the gentle sarcasm may be lost on the Indian bloke at the other end.

Reply to
Tim S

snipped-for-privacy@gglz.com coughed up some electrons that declared:

Agree generally.

The only special info they have is a list of current licenses and a list of reception apparatus sold by the bigger traders (you did tell the bloke your correct address when you paid cash for that telly, didn't you?).

It's Customs & Excise you need to worry about - they do have special powers that make the police look gay, for a limited and specific set of suspected infringments.

Reply to
Tim S

You're right it won't do any good. I think the only thing that briefly stops them sending their shitty letters out is having one of their plebs visit and confirm there's no tv but they'll start sending the letters again a few months later in case you've bought one since. I haven't had a tv license for about five or six years now. I didn't renew it immediately one year as the tv had broken and I bought a new one a few months later after I got the tv fixed. Then the swines sent me a letter saying they'd backdated the new license to when the old one ran out hence losing me the cost of the months I hadn't needed one for. I said to myself that's the last time the pricks get any of my money and it has been. They send a standard shitty letter about once every six weeks and a recorded delivery one so they can get a signature from the occupant about once a year but so far none of their plebs have come round. I'm hoping one will eventually so I can tell him he's a private individual with no rights of access who's trespassing now so piss off because there's something on the telly I want to watch.

The ONLY way you can get done for not having a license is let one of them inside to get the evidence which you have absolutely no need to do unless they have a warrant which they never will. It costs them too much. Basically it's a voluntary tax which I've decided I can manage quite happily without paying.

Reply to
Dave Baker

If you've only sent the one letter probably not, but there is a risk if you were to send another letter along the same lines.

Seriously.

I read somewhere that someone who wrote a couple of sarky letters of complaint to a company got investigated by NECTU, the police unit set up to investigate groups such as animal rights extremists and the like who undertake campaigns of harassment against shareholders and employees. I don't have evidence to hand for this, but I think I read about it in Private Eye.

Reply to
OG

In message , Tim S writes

exactly the same as yours, with the exception of the all the words preceding "f*ck off"

They are quite welcome to attempt to gain entrance to my factory at their own expense

At the end of the day, its just scare tactics and you should complain to your MP about their immoral bullying tactics

Reply to
geoff

You have my sympathies, I experienced this twice in recent times... no amount of telling the buggers seems to serve any purpose. In the end I found that dropping them straight into the bin was the most effective and least irritating way of dealing with them.

I thought my last attempt before giving up in disgust was reasonably sarky, but I like your's better!

got a copy somewhere... oh yes:

"Sent via email 30/11/06 ? reference number : EM0002445143

Dear Sir,

Re: my mothers property at [redacted]

As you seem keen to point out on a frequent basis, the above mentioned property is unlicensed. By way of clarification I would like to point out that this is not an oversight, and it is by intention.

The reason for this is that (as I explained before in my letter of 2nd March 2006) due to my mothers poor health, the property is currently unoccupied. It is now highly probable the property will remain unoccupied until it is sold.

I would appreciate it if you could therefore desist in sending further letters.

I would also like to take this opportunity to register my complaint as to the tone and style of the letters that you have sent. In particular the language seems designed to intimidate and harass, and would be perceived by many as threatening.

Yours faithfully,"

etc.

Got a stock reply "we have updated our records and should not contact you again for 3 months, however after that bla, bla". 1 week later, more snottygrammes.

Had the same happen when I moved out of the last place (I was planning some refurb prior to selling it) - transferred the license here (via their web site that delightfully requests that you tell them within 14 days of moving into your new address, and has validation on the data entry form that prevents entering any moving date that is not at least three weeks into the future!

I then just binned all the letters.

Reply to
John Rumm

Sounds rather silly. It's not as if they can't block it leaving you "shouting at an empty room", and you do actually need to work with these people. Unlike the TV Licensing tossers - ineffective spleen-venting as you say, but the last two lines were absolute classic :-)

Pete

Reply to
Pete Verdon

Pete Verdon coughed up some electrons that declared:

Yep - more of a jest, but their sysadmin might see a hint of humour in it :)

Reply to
Tim S

Tim S coughed up some electrons that declared:

BTW - it's their fault anyway for not having a "so long and thanks for all the fish" button on the control panel. I can do everything else without human contact.

ABTW - do you remember Alan Ralsky? - they totally mail-bombed him, with great effect.

Reply to
Tim S

I think its just wasted on them

My next reply will be

"you are correct, the above address has no TV licence

Come on if you think you're 'ard enough"

Several years ago I explained that it was an engineering works, there was no TV, stop wasting my licence payers money and got a letter of apology

So now I give them no information, just wind them up to the best of my abilities

make them play your game, don't play theirs

Reply to
geoff

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