OT: Pointless 'safety' warnings

[Lino expert]

restorations

Emails to: showard{who is at}shwoodwind{dot}co{dot}uk

They mean when *you're* full - nowt worse than hefting a pool following a tube of Pringles.

[Stephen Howard]

Was filling up the kid's paddling pool today - it's about 10 feet in diameter and holds around 18 inches of water - and I noticed 3 warnings printed on the side of the pool.

The first had a drawing of a mum and a toddler, along with a recommendation that an adult supervises pool users at all times. The second showed a diver with a large X over, and said 'No jumping or diving'.

All quite reasonable, I thought.

The third warning, however, showed a toddler pulling on the side of the pool and said 'Do not lift or move pool when full'.

Eh? A quick calculation on the back of a Rizla packet shows there to be about 3 old-fashioned tons of water in the pool when it's full.

It's madness, I tell you, madness.

Regards,

[Bruce]

If you had bought it from Tesco, it would probably carry a large and very prominent sticker stating:

"WARNING: May contain water."

[EricP]

Look, you have to go a long way to beat a packet of peanuts with "Caution may contain peanuts" in big red letters on it.

[Keith]

Ours is a tad bigger, contains 8 cu metres

Yep, has the same warning on it.

8 new-fangled tonnes in ours

No warnings at all about getting caught skinny dipping by the postman, while the wrong side of a few glasses of white wine, far more dangerous.

[dennis]

Well there you are.. they have to put safety warnings on for stupid people! If you try and move it you could collapse the sides and then you have three tons of water pushing you out of the way. It may sound fun but it could easily kill a toddler.

Sometimes its not the safety warnings that are stupid.

[David]

I have two favourites:

1. "Keep away from children". *Very* good advice.
2. On the side of an inflatable crocodile - "Not to be used as a life preserver". I have this image of an ocean liner going down and stewards handing out inflatable crocodiles to stony-faced people in evening dress.

I'll get my coat...

[Andy Hall]

I read quite competently from about age 4 and certainly before going to day school. Does the average two to three year old nowadays?

[Mungo "Two Sheds" Toadfoot]

Stop protecting the stupid; they'll either learn or drown. Go Darwin!

Si

[Mary Fisher]

Wish you hadn't said that, our Arctic cruise begins on Tuesday :-(

Mary

[RobertL]

An old fashioned ton is almost the same as a metric tonne.

Robert

[RobertL]

Together with the 'user instructions' on BA bags of peanuts:

"open bag, eat nuts"

R

[Andrew Gabriel]

One of my favourates is a birthday card complete with a badge that says "I am 1" on the front of it, and a warning on the back that it's "unsuitable for children under 3".

Another one I heard on the News Quiz (Radio 4) some years ago: Tescos Luxury Christmas Pate [use by 24 Dec]

[<me9]

Yes, any attempt and the bottom would probably fall out.

Yes, to try and move it full.

[Rod]

Aren't they more likely to have inflatible polar bears? (With same safety message.) :-)

[Huge]

I have a Murray ride-on lawnmower. The 1cm thick handbook could be reduced to one sheet of A4 if all the safety warnings were removed. And shortly after I bought it, I went over it with a hot air gun and removed all the garish labels stating things along the lines of "Hot, sharp rotating bits inside here. Putting your hand inside will be painfull."

I'm told motorcycle manufacturers started laquering over such labels when they discovered that the owners of the bikes were similarly removing such ludicrous labels.

[Huge]

Never mind full, we can't move ours (which is about 18ft across, BTW) once there's more than about 1/2" of water in it.

[Mary Fisher]

You should go into product development!

Mary

[Huge]

Nowt. I chuck the occassional 2 litre bottle of Sainsbury's cheapo bleach in.

I keep meaning to do something more rigourous, but I have no round tuits.

[Bruce]

There's still time to send out Spouse, tasked with finding an inflatable animal that you find acceptable as a potential life preserver. ;-)