OT: Ooh Err Missus!

[The Medway Handyman]

Turned up for a job this morning, flat in town, could I hang 4 large mirrors, 2 TV brackets & some towel rails etc.

Jean answered the door, plump woman in her late 40's. I followed her into the hall, which was painted deep red, with erotic pictures on the walls. We went into the kitchen, which had a large 'L' shaped seating unit.

"In case you hadn't realised, its a working flat luv. A brothel".

Very attractive girl (Katie) in jeans & sweatshirt was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. Lovely girl, well spoken, intelligent, obviously well educated.

I started to hang the TV brackets, when the doorbell sounded. Jean said "stay in here for a minute luv, we have a client".

Jean ushered the client into the ground floor bedroom. I finished hanging the brackets. "Go & do the towel rails luv, Katie needs to change".

By the time I'd finished the towel rails, soap dishes, toilet roll holders etc, the client had gone, so I made a start on the two large (1m x 1m) mirrors in the ground floor bedroom. Battens on the plasterboard walls.

Jean arrived again. "Stay in here luv, Katie has another client, she will use the bedroom upstairs".

About 10 mins later, Katie entered the room, wearing an outfit that Ann Summers would have thought suggestive. Completely transparent top, G string the size of a postage stamp & fishnet stockings. Lovely girl. Very difficult to concentrate on hanging a batten level in these circumstances.

She reached around the door & removed a leather whip which was hanging on a hook and went back upstairs.

A few minutes later I heard it being used! Client obviously enjoyed it judging by his reaction!

Jean helped me hold the large mirrors while I fixed them. Client left.

Last job, fix another large mirror to the upstairs bedroom. Fixed the battens, wandered downstairs to ask Jean to help me hold the last mirror. "My back hurts luv, Katie will help you".

So, there I am, trying to hang a large mirror, being assisted by Katie, who is still wearing the Ann Summers outfit. How I managed to get the bloody thing hung properly I'll never know.

Finished the job, wrote out the bill, Jean paid in cash.

Katie said "do you want to spend the money now luv?"

I made my excuse's & left as they say.

It's an interesting life being a handyman!

(and no I didn't)

[anyoneanywhere]

Did you have trouble getting up close to the wall? :-)

Anyway That's the way that profession should work instead of all this hanging around street corner nonsense . But it's Britain.It'll never happen .

[Stephen Howard]

Something well hung in a brothel? What're the chances of that, eh, eh?

Regards,

[Anne Jackson]

The message from "The Medway Handyman" contains these words:

Not on the ceilings?

[ARWadworth]

Invest in a camera phone for next time!

Adam

[dom]

I popped into Jean's house of pleasure for me usual - you should have heard the chap next door!

They were using hammers and nails, saws, power drills and all sorts on him - and it took 3 different girls before he was satisfied!

[tony sayer]

Thats was beggin the question as to whether you got paid in kind;)...

[r.bartlett]

Only if you can't read ...

Cheers

Richard

[Dave Plowman (News)]

;-)

[Andy Burns]

Or only if you don't know what "begging the question" means. Hint: it doesn't mean "leads to the question".

[tony sayer]

Indeed as one read through it.

Lot of them around .. there was one at the end of our street last year right in the "leafy suburbs"..

Till the old bill turned up in force;!..

[George]

Shouldn't this be in the thread "Question about domestic sewers"

[George]

So long as its not on your doorstep eh.

[Paul Herber]

were they hoping for a discount?

[Grumps]

Wot? Were they looking for a group discount?

[Grumps]

Yes please!

[Bob Eager]

Regular readers will know that we had one 'in out back garden' for years.

The best bit was the incident with the plumber I employed....

[r.bartlett]

Modern usage controversy More recently, to beg the question has been used by some as a synonym for "to raise the question", or to indicate that "the question really ought to be addressed". For example, "This year's budget deficit is half a trillion dollars. This begs the question: how are we ever going to balance the budget?" This usage is often criticized by proponents of the traditional meaning, but has nonetheless come into sufficiently widespread use that it is now the most common use of the term. The phrases circular reasoning, circular logic, and circular arguments have come to be used in places where logicians would tend to use "beg the question".

[Summon Else]

"No thanks, I'll DIY it later"

[Mogga]

in Failsworth there's an establishment called Lady Janes. It's right next door to the tesco petrol station they've just built. They advertise along with many other places in the Manchester Evening News too - in the health clubs bit I think... Someone's bought the run down building next door to it, don't know who, but am interested to see what they do with it.