OT; It's been a funny old day....

[David Lang]

Popped into Toolstation for two keyed alike padlocks.

TS Droid; We only have one in stock. TMH; What's the point in only having one keyed alike padlock? TS Droid; Blank expression.

Popped next door to Screwfix. SF Droid; We only have one in stock. TMH; What's the point in only having one keyed alike padlock? SF Droid; Blank expression.

On the way home I did some shopping in Morrisons & used the self scan checkouts.

Bag of loose mushrooms. placed on scale bit, touched fresh veg icon on screen. Selected "L-M" icon which had a picture of a mushroom on it. Screen opens, no mushrooms listed. Spotted a search option, typed in MUS and before I can finish typing a message appears "MUS doesn't match any items".

Attracted the attention of a Morrisons person, who did exactly what I did - twice, with the same results.

He disappears & returns with a code number - the machine finally gives in and admits that mushrooms actually exist.

[Chris J Dixon]

Isn't that rather like trying to sell a single sock?

Chris

[Andy Burns]

Maybe they're all keyed identical, rather than in matched pairs?

[Simon Mason]

Used a self service in Ljubljana last June, bought some ibuprofen, had to w ait 5 mins for authorisation barcode to be flashed by supervisor, loose fru it - had to wait for somebody to weigh them, bottle of Cava - had to wait f or 10 mins for more authorisation.

Waste of time.

[Andy Burns]

Probably under 'B' for button mushrooms, or if they're as idiosyncratic as other supermarket self-checkouts (actually the newer Morrison tills seem to have been upgraded to quad-hamster power, so they can keep up with you).

[Another Dave]

Morrison's bread rolls filed only under Pick n Mix.

Another Dave

[spuorgelgoog]

I popped into Wickes for some waste pipe.

None on the display. Ask at the counter: computer says yes; they have 10 in stock. Human goes to the back to find them: human phones the counter; none in stock.

I ask when they will *actually* be getting any more in and it might be 2-3 weeks. Unlikely to be shoplifters as it's quite hard to shoplift 3 metre lengths of wastepipe I would have thought.

They also only sell the clips in packs of 2.

Oh well, that's a job I don't need to do and a shower I can't have this weekend.

Owain

[Tim Watts]

Do you not have a SF or TS?

[Syd Rumpo]

It's creeping AI. The scales know that a mushroom is not a plant, let alone a vegetable.

Cheers

[polygonum]

More than most of the staff. Or customers. :-)

[Tim Streater]

At Morrison's last week:

Me (to M-girlie): Where can I find condensed milk.

M-girlie: What's condensed milk?

Me: It comes in tins and is very sweet.

M-girlie (after some of what passes for thought) then points me at the shelf with long-life milk.

Later I ask an older assistant, who correctly points me at the section with stuff for making puddings/desserts.

[Joe Biden]

I can only feel sorry for the people who have to deal with such smartarses as you lot here.

What a pity that so few of you ever get to share your unlimited wisdom from the other side of the counter.

[spuorgelgoog]

I have an SF but not conveniently located when leaving Wickes unsatisfied.

Owain

[spuorgelgoog]

I wouldn't say twelve years of retail experience is unlimited wisdom but in that time I did manage to work out that customers like to see stock out on the shop floor. Sometimes they even buy it.

I can't fault the staff at the shop for helpfulness but their stock control from head office is abysmal.

Owain

[Joe Biden]

Twelve years is it, what an old soldier you are. I suppose you believe that your imagined vast experience allows you to disparagingly refer to a lowly store assistant as the 'human'.

[spuorgelgoog]

In contradistinction to 'computer', and you're the one describing him as lowly, not me.

Owain

[Joe Biden]

The lowly' was an inference drawn from your clearly assumed superiority.

Anyway, I'll leave you in peace, I'm sure that very important people like you have equally important things to do other than writing stuff on usenet.

[harry]

The people working in these places are just box shifters and/or schoolboys. In days of yore at proper shops, you could talk to someone with decades of experience.

[Brian Gaff]

Yes I had similar issuees at a mapliin about a year back. I picked up a telephone recorder device and when the person tried to get it to scan from the bar code it said they were no longer stocked.

In the end I just paid the c visible price and went. I think somebody had just either mis counted or had acceepted a return and not recorded it on the system. In the end many of these strange anomalies come down to the human in the loop not actually getting it right,though, most veg are not fungi, maybe they have a fungi category? Brian

[Brian Gaff]

I was just thinking that actually. I can recall a while back that one particular law enforcement organisation in a small country bought some handcuffs which seemed a great bargain, and indeed were very sturdy and nice. Only problem was the keys were all the same and were easy to make.

There is no wonder a lot of police forces now use a form of plastic zip ties as they are cheaper and no worse than a handcuff with duplicate keys in the end.

I'm sure this is the answer to the locks as well. I remember a little while ago having lost the key to a padlock, I opened it with a bit of bent wire. Hardly secure, but I suppose it discourages the casual theif. Brian