When waiting in a queue to be served I can't help but try an give the person being served some privacy. I feels wrong to do anything but that. (Yes I'm over 50). But (and here's the DIY question) how do
*you* deal with someone who invades your privacy/personal space in such a situation?
I happens to me quite often. I get some oik standing right next to me, leaning on the counter at which I am being served, and who is actually turns 90 deg - so they are facing my side! What a damn cheek! (Is how I see it anyway). Such pushy people seem impervious to sideways glances etc.
Please Dear Marg. - the ointment is no help - bad smells don't put them off - what can I do about this?
ps I am not a wimp and have not the slightest compuctionm about telling them to f*** off and die - but I'd rather not as it does me no got to get worked up like that. Is it triva? Why are we here? What IS the meaning of Tesco?
I was aware of myself standing back while the person in front was being served when I went for a sandwich today. (I am also over 50) I can't say I notice people invading my space though, maybe I have a personal hygiene problem that I'm unaware of :-)
People have personal 'comfort zones'. However this varies with cultural origin. Brits in particular have larger zones than others. Japanise have ever larger 'zones'.
The 'zone' does vary with individuals, you may just have a small 'comfort zone'.
Is it possible that they are of eastern European, Mediterranean or African origin? If so, they will have a much smaller 'comfort zone' and it would be perfectly natural for them to stand much closer than you would feel comfortable with.
Simple. Invade their personal 'comfort zone'. Move closer to them & they will feel uncomfortable & back away. Their 'zone' can be quite small though & you may feel uncomfortable before they do.
Its very simple to manipulate people without them realising they are being manipulated. The first decent book on the subject is Desmond Morris 'Man Watching', a good read.
Magicians (good ones), when working 'close up' use this technique by moving in & out of peoples 'attention zones'. For example, during a card trick the secret move is carried out whilst the magician leans or even steps backwards. Since he is outside the 'performance zone' actions are less likely to be noticed.
Complex subject. Desmond Morris book is a good start.
"In 1932, Cohen officially founded Tesco Stores Limited. The name was originally that of a private-label brand of tea Cohen sold, created from the initials of T.E. Stockwell, a merchant from whom he bought tea, and the first two letters of his last name. "
The only space invaders I come across is those of the "Irish Traveller" type. In the shop they will lean right over the counter. My brain tells me it's because the pikeys are trying to see if there's any cash or keys etc but we've come across so many over the years it just seems to be their "way" still don't make me trust 'em though. ... anyway, I don't remember having the problem you describe but thinking about it, I would give them them the most effective and least aggressive ation of simply turning so my back was directly towards them and "spread my wings" to make that area as wide as possible for both privacy and as an animal act of "size matters" like a cobra or a puffer fish and almost every other animal.
No offence caused, no impoliteness given, no act of physical challenge or verbal confrontation. Just a simple closure of space without giving the impression of being intimidated etc.
I also give the person being served some space. This seems more important now we use chip and pin.
I asked the bloke who was edging in towards me when I paid "Would like to enter my PIN number for me as you are closer to the machine than me?". He moved back and said sorry.
I remember years ago standing in a queue at Schiphol to buy a train ticket and there was a Red Line a few feet away from the window that you had to stand behind until it was your turn .I must admit I always give people in queues space ....must be a generation thing .
1) The other night I went to get some dosh out of the hole in the wall. This machine was in a deserted town square. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed this chap walking towards me. Anyway, he walked within inches to the back of me. I was expected something to kick off - but when he'd passed he said "... leave some for me." Clearly his walk had been the prep for a witty line :-)
2) Shopping in Tesco, some bloke got a very light touch in the back from someones trolly. I know it was very light because I saw it happen. The chap went mad and started threatening to sue the trolley-pusher's "ass off". It is damn annoying though when people do push in queue like this imho - do they think it'll make the queue go faster. This particular case though, was an accident. The trick is to know the difference.
Many years ago I was sat in one of the infamous 'Canning Town flyover traffic-jams', and having successfully fended off a couple of pushers-in ( they come up the roundabout filter lane and dive into the flyover queue at the very last minute - either because someone's left a hint of a space or simply by brute force ) I was waiting in the queue to get through the set of lights a few hundred yards away.
It was then that I heard the car behind me honking the horn. I looked in my mirror but couldn't see anything of note and assumed the driver was urging me to close up the gap of a couple of feet between myself and the car in front. He kept on honking - so I threw a few traditional hand gestures...and then he bumped into me!
Having sat in a traffic jam for an hour or so I wasn't in the best of moods, so I jumped out of the car ( with accompanying expletives ) with a view to giving the driver a lesson in patience. As I approached the car he wound his window down an inch or so and said "You were rolling back, mate!".
As regards people that stand too close, a neat little trick is the faux-sneeze. For best effect you have to 'wind it up' with by going 'Hnuugh...hnuugh...hnuugh' a few times whilst pitching yourself forward. At the last moment you should turn, bring your hand halfway up to your face and let out an ' aaasssshhhhhh...' - note that you do not complete the sneeze. At this point you'll have direct eye-contact with the person encroaching upon your space - and the immediate effect of this is that they will understand your assumption that there would be a space behind or to the side of you in which you might have been able to let out your unexpected sneeze. A few coughs and splutters a la backfired sneeze will really kick the message home...you might even pass a comment about how bad your cold is - and if they haven't already taken a step back you can be sure they will the moment you turn away.
Another technique is the 'blocked view gambit'. This simply involves turning round with a view to looking at someone or something at the end of the queue. You will be expecting to find a gap of at least two or three feet behind you, so as you turn you should pretend to be initially startled by having your view blocked. Shoot them a very quick glance that indicates they're in the way, let out a small exasperated sigh and then lean to look past them. If you've pitched it right they will lean slightly out of the way and will move to regain balance.
Or you can just fart loudly and exclaim "Oh bejeesus, there goes another gusset! Quick nurse, the screens - no more curried eggs for me!".
Next week we'll cover how to burp in the presence of royalty, and how to eat lychees without messing up your cravat.
Depending on the layout of the check-outs sometimes I turn my trolley 90 deg. to take up less space in the line IYSWIM. I was going to write to Tony de Angeli on the Jimmy Young show about this strategy years ago, but never did.
Not so easy to do on demand. An alternative is to turn to the offender, smile ingratiatingly and say, "While we're here, can I ask if you've found our dear lord Jesus yet?"
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