OT If there really is a Hell

[ARW]

Then I know how I well spend eternity.

It will be on a return journey from work on the underground with an apprentice that is attempting to do the Evening Standard easy crossword.

First of all he starts off by writing a few answers that he knows and then it goes downhill and he starts adding words that fit the squares but only have a small semblance to the real answer eg 3 Reptile 3 letters and he knows it begins with A so he puts in ANT.

When he runs out of words he knows that will fit he then starts to make up words or he just misses letters out of words or adds letters to words to make them fit.

After that the nightmare begins and goes like this

"Adam?" "Yes" "What's another word for "insert crossword clue here"?"

Repeat for every clue he has not filled in.

The final torment is when we get off the train he bins the paper (ie leaves it on the train seat) and says "One of these days I will finish that crossword".

[Mr Pounder]

Apart from that. How do you find the tap water in the south? I'm in a soft water area and a bloke down south is telling me that the hard water there is much nicer to drink. We disagree of course. Dunno what the water is at your home.

[John Williamson]

Many years ago, I knew someone who, on his way to work every morning, always did the "Random word" thing with the Times crossword, which he would then casually leave on the seat when he left the train before the last stop, knowing that, due to their pride, nobody would cheat by looking. He took about five minutes to fill the grid...

[Brian Gaff]

Does he know what a reptile actually is? Does he know what an insect is? I'd have thought these are hardly difficult questions. Maybe one of the childrens big print puzzle books would be a better investment?

Brian

[Brian Gaff]

Hard water? Well I have lready had one kidney stone if that is an indication, most of my pipes are furred up and the kettle filter is no good any more, there are growths hanging down under the cold taps and the loo is shrinking inside. Brian

[Mike Barnes]

Sounds the sort of chap that would do a jigsaw marked "3-5 years" and be chuffed when he finished it in two.

[Unbeliever]

And that's what working with ARW does to apprentices - they lose their marbles! ;-)

[Sam Plusnet]

Never mind the apprentice.

There's "ASP", but are there any others apart from Cleopatra's bosom buddy?

[Onetap]

On Thursday, February 27, 2014 6:30:07 PM UTC, [e-mail] w rote:

Peter Wright (Spycatcher) got similarly irritated with a colleague in M15/6 doing the Times cryptic crossword every morning. He'd spend 10 minutes eve ry morning doing the crossword in his head, without filling in any letters and claimed to complete it every day.

Wright challenged him, so he filled it in correctly without a pause.

[Huge]

My 'A' Level maths teacher used to do it in about 5 minutes, for real.

[Mike Barnes]

I once amazed the occupants of the doctor's waiting room by appearing to do that. Of course I'd rehearsed it over breakfast. :-)

[Tim Lamb]

Is it just my failing faculties or have cryptic crosswords actually got harder over the last 30 or so years?

Given time, I could usually struggle through about half of the Telegraph cryptic. Now I am reduced to picking out the 4 letter words and obvious anagrams:-(

A total lack of interest in any *arts* material does not help:-)

[Huge]

Hard for me to say - I've never been able to do them. I think my all-time record with the Telegraph crossword is 4 clues. Not all in one puzzle.

[Tim Streater]

Is there a bigger proportion of that these days? Reading the Times gives that impression.

[GB]

Asp? That took a while, because I was thinking of lizards. It is interesting how you get into a particular mind-set.

[GB]

Ah, I should have read all the way through before posting the same solution!

[Nick]

I started doing the Telegraph quick crossword about 35 yrs ago. Leaving the cryptic untouched. Fortunately my better half tore out the uncompleted ones, inc. cryptics, and stashed them away. About 10 yrs ago I started on the daily cryptics and now struggle with the quick ones. These days I can normally knock off a Telegraph cryptic in 30-45 mins. Before breakfast and it's better than going to work on an egg. Now, when on a longish car journey, we can go through some very old crosswords. Not as mad as it sounds, I find it an aid to concentration and a relief from boredom. I wouldn't say Telegraph cryptics have become easier or harder in the past few years. Like anything, if you know the answer, it's easy. Setters change and it helps if you can get into the mindset of the setter. I really struggle with some of the 80's-90's cryptics. I enjoy cruciverbalism but it is merely a pastime. I struggle with the Times. Fin.

[polygonum]

Some papers use databases of clues and assemble them into crosswords. This removes one of the elements I like, and you refer to, the mindset of the setter of the crossword - and not just some individual clues. Indeed, the attribution on Guardian crosswords has always been appreciated partly because it reassures that the whole puzzle came from one mind.

[Nightjar]

On 28/02/2014 20:25, Nick wrote: ...

At school, a group of three or four of my classmates made a big show of completing the Times crossword every day. One day, there were two clues they just couldn't get between them and, as I was the only other person in the room at the time they asked me. As it happened, they were about the only two things I knew in the whole crossword and I gave them the answers immediately. After that they seemed to assume I didn't do the Times crossword as I found it so easy. :-)

Colin Bignell

[Jim K]

So slightly fewer wedgies, slightly less piss taking for a week or so ??

Jim K