OT: Help Speech jokes

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wrote:

Don't know about diy jokes specifically, but there are loads of wedding speeches examples here http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/index.asp
-- Phil Addison The uk.d-i-y FAQ is at http://www.diyfaq.org.uk / Remove NOSPAM from address to reply
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Thanks to everyone who helped. The wedding turned out to be a fantastic bash. No-one noticed my speech was the low-point of the evening.
Colin
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I am pleased it went well. Too bad that I was too late to give you my favourite d-i-y joke (Not!):
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison for Insider Trading and Stock Fraud.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Son: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Papa
A few days later the old man received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa, For heaven's sake Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the money & stocks.
Love, Your Son.
At 4 am the next morning, a team of FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire area without finding any money or stocks. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Your son.
Well worth remembering if you ever need some crazy paving dug up - Fred West lived here!
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