OT: Banned from B&Q ;-(

"One Life - make me a man again"

Bloke, business fails, wife and kids leave him

so he has his willy chopped off

oops, mistake

changes his mind, has a new one rebuilt

(according to the radio times)

Aargh - Vanessa Phelps

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Reply to
raden
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I've been way but for some reason this came into my mind and I wondered if it would be a metric or Whitworth or other thread ...

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

Probably AF - absolutely F all to do with, erm, haddock? Or whitworth? Not one whit worth of relevance to.... again, nothing that I can think of. Prawns? :)

NT

Reply to
N. Thornton

In message , N. Thornton writes

I think the closest we can hope for here is a wandering thread

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Reply to
raden

If we're talking about decking and screw threads here, it might just be a crossed thread.

NT

Reply to
N. Thornton

I'm bolting before someone calls me a nut.

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

It's quite safe as long as you use a washer.

.andy

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Reply to
Andy Hall

I'll wait until spring then.

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

Could be a bit of a wrench...

.andy

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Reply to
Andy Hall

Shall we torque about it?

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

Which reminds me (this is a True Story against myself) that this morning the washing machine wouldn't work. In wimpish and girly mode I sobbed to Spouse (we're just back from being away again and have a lot to launder). He came in and pushed the door firmly.

YES OF COURSE IT WORKED!

Bloody smarty pants. Huh.

Off to do the ironing now - she says, flatly.

Mary

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Reply to
Mary Fisher

I think we should socket and see

.andy

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Reply to
Andy Hall

So he says. He probably kicked the door.

Get your own back and iron creases into his shirts.

PJ

Reply to
PJ

Hmm. Taps head, thinking for an apt reply ... can't let the subject die ...

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

No, he wouldn't do that because he'd have to repair it.

No to that too, I actually enjoy ironing. I'm unique among everyone I know - well among those it's been talked about. Not a normal topic, really ...

Mary

Reply to
Mary Fisher

Into the stocks you should go for that.

Reply to
Andy Wade

Looking at your other posts - I have will admit defeat whilst only slightly behind - you are much more proficient with puns.

I had better start a thread on Malapropisms and strive for superiority.

Reply to
PJ

Well Mary, if your washer is faulty and you live in Bolton, maybe you'd better unplug it at the wrallplug - or do I mean the socket. With the 3 and 4 way sockets we have today, I guess that will now be a socket set.

Painful isnt it? Maybe I've got a screw loose.

NT

Reply to
N. Thornton

Better than smelly pants though isn't it?

Andrew

If you need help with those general DIY projects you can give me a call. More information about what I can help with can be found on my web site:

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Reply to
Andrew McKay

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