There is a Christmas story that says that "nothing was stirring, not even a mouse". Well it is not true, came down this morning to open the pressies and found that a mouse had got there first, through the wrapping paper and the inner packet to --MY-- chocolate gingers! Can any one suggest the most painful and inhumane way of destroying this little beggar?
Variable voltage wire grid, that wakes you up so you can go and watch and vary the frying voltage.
mrcheerful
Get a load of the old fashioned snap traps and bait them with chocolate. Do it quick before your one mouse becomes a family of 5 or 6
We have a 7-stone Rottweiler who was badly treated, shut up in a barn, not fed, etc. She had to learn to feed herself, and as a result is now totally hardwired to hunt/kill/eat, especially mice...... and cats. :(
She has been fed this morning, but right now will be up the farm, quartering one of the back fields, looking for a mouse nest. 30 seconds of JCB'ing, a quick 'gobble, gobble', and all contents of the nest disappear down the hatch.
Do you want to borrow her? :)
In message , Bill writes
Whisky and a dropper - if you want to enter into the spirit of the season
In message , Tony Williams writes
How much per hour? Does she like 6 year old boys too?
>In message , raden writes
Ready marinated for the pot, seems a reasonable idea, I must pull out my Roman cook book.
>
Veroboard. Solder together alternate tracks, connect the two sides to the mains with a light bulb in series, place on the floor with a piece of bait. Don't walk about bare foot.
"Bill" wrote | > We have a 7-stone Rottweiler ... | How much per hour? | Does she like 6 year old boys too?
After it's been given the veroboard treatment, why not treat the six-year-old to a nice traditional Sugar Mouse
Owain
It probably already has, though if it's only just got cold at the OPs location it might just be scout for the family. We've only had 4 vistors this year so far, so either the Weasels and Stoats or our deportation of invaders 5 miles onto the fells is having an effect on the local population.
There are 4 or 5 'feral' cats around us and they seem to do a good job on local vermin, including the odd pigeon, though twice I've witnessed a hawk down a wood pigeon into the back garden. Strangely he seemed very wary of 3 or 4 magpies who materialised within a few minutes and stalked around him and his kill until he took off.
Found a few times that mice like kitkat.The chocolate, not the cat food.
Dave
if using umbilical cords so they won?t be tough). Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion then fold in half, trimming neatly. Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; allow to sit for a few minutes. Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown, about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb, poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery Onions bell peppers Wooden or metal skewersMarinate the meat overnight. Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers. Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats. Grill to medium rare, serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus. Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port. Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death, get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long, because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium between the poisonous and the stimulating. Though it may not have the same effect on your guests, a whole chicken cooked in this fashion is also mighty tasty.
1 newborn - cocaine addicted, freshly expired, cleaned and butchered Carrots onions leeks celery bell pepper potatoes Salt pepper garlic, etc 4 cups waterCut the meat into natural pieces and brown very well in olive oil, remove, then brown half of the onions, the bell pepper, and celery. When brown, mix everything into the crock-pot, and in 6 to 8 hours you have tur
no religious taboos against swine.
1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index) 1 large can pineapple slices Whole clovesPlace him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up. Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like he?s crawling. Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves. Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive! You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.
6 live babies 1 lb. smoked sausage 4 lemons whole garlic 2 lb. new potatoes 4 ears corn 1 box salt crab boilBring 3 gallons of water to a boil. Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic. Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes. Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes. Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover. Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.
Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs
Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe, and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume! An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood yet succulent source of protein.
2 human baby rib racmeat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed ¼ cup vegetable oil 2 large onions bell pepper celery garlic ½ cup red wine 3 Irish potatoes 2 large carrotsThis is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy, thus it does not have to be thickened. Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside. Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic. De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well. Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and seasoning as necessary. After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes, and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork. Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.
Pre-mie Pot Pie
When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry; red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).
Pie crust (see index) Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed Onions, bell pepper, celery ½ cup wine Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed
Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you will need one for the top also). Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones. Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth. Brown the onions, peppers and celery. Add the meat then season, continue browning. De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth. Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes. Allow to cool slightly. Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy, reduce oven to 325. Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together then poke holes in top. Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
side up. Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°. Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest. Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells; make patties if shell or head is not available (such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby). Flour oil onions bell peppers garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock 2 sticks butter 3 tablespoons oilFirst stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index) then fry or bake. Set aside to drain on paper towels. Make a roux with butter, oil and flour, brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and allow to simmer for 20 minutes. Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish, lobster, long piglet, or what have you. Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least 15 minutes more. Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!
Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf - or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.
8 large cabbage leaves 1 lb.tastes.
1 premature baby, born dead Large bunch of mustard greens 2 white onions, 1 cup chopped celery Vegetable oil (or hog fat) Salt, pepper, garlic, etc.Lightly brown onions, celery, garlic and meat in large heavy pot. Add a little water and the greens (which should be thoroughly cleaned and washed). Smother slowly for at least 2 hours, adding small amounts of water when it starts to stick. Stir frequently. When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea. Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue; you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.
1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...) 1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables (carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...) Bell pepper onions garlic ginger salt pepper, etc. Olive oil butterBrown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil, place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter. Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes. Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.
Bébé Buffet 1
Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths - and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.
Some suggestions
Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham, Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made b
I know how the hawk feels. I was attacked by two Magpies, just outside Linlithgow is was, when I went to close to their nesting site. Wicked things Magpies when you get on their wrong side. :-) (me....shivers at the memory)
I thought that this year I had managed to seal all their normal entry points, just had new floors fitted downstairs and made sure there was no access around central heating pipes but they have proved me wrong. In past years they have come in by early November so for a while I was feeling quite proud but no longer. Although it has been a bit milder this year.
Last year I had proof of how stupid mice are though, two traps set side by side and two mice caught overnight in the lounge. You could almost hear the second one say " Oh dear look what's happened to my mate, ah well never mind I'll just have this bit of chocolate and be on my way, BANG."
Yes I have found chocolate good bait, also dry bread soaked in Baileys.
Tonight will tell!
(such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby). Flour oil onions bell peppers garlic salt, pepper, etc.
3 cups chicken stock 2 sticks butter 3 tablespoons oilFirst stuff the heads, or make the patties (see index) then fry or bake. Set aside to drain on paper towels. Make a roux with butter, oil and flour, brown vegetables in the roux, then add chicken stock and allow to simmer for 20 minutes. Add the patties or stuffed heads, and some loose crawfish, lobster, long piglet, or what have you. Cook on low for 15 minutes, then allow it to set for at least 15 minutes more. Serve over steamed rice; this dish is very impressive!
Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
Babies really can be found under a cabbage leaf - or one can arrange for ground beef to be found there instead.
8 large cabbage leaves 1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck Onions peppers celery garlic soy sauce salt pepper, etc Olive oil breadcrumbs Tomato Gravy (see index)Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften. In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil, then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely) and season well. Place in a large bowl and cool. Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy, enough to make the mixture pliable. Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll. Place seam down in a baking pan. Ladle tomato gravy on top, and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, so why not consume it? Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts) 4 thin slices of smoked ham, and GruyereHomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.