How to extend a piece of timber

[Nick]

Only saw this today, suspect it may have been put up last Sunday.

preview:

[Andy Burns]

clamp on upside down ... someone could have their eye out on that!

[Mentalguy2k8]

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Reminds me of that Norm bloke who used to be on one of the cable channels, demonstrating how to make furniture at home. "You can do this, too!"... yeah I'm sure I could if I had a million quids worth of machinery and tools in a

5-acre workshop like you, Norm! I've got a rusty blunt hand saw, a wobbly workbench, a hammer and about 3 square foot of space to work in with wife, kids and pets standing on my work.

[george [dicegeorge]]

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[Frank Erskine]

He wasn't called Bates, was he? That's the sort of thing our woodwork teacher was (in)famous for...

He also literally threw chisels and wooden jack planes at people.

[brass monkey]

You must've attended our school cept his name was Bernard Richards. He'd also come along our benches inspecting our work then tossing it into the corner saying "this wood doesn't grow on trees y'know". Another gem was "insomuch as I have taught you the rules of sawring I cannot torelate such bad work". At lunchtimes we had "stop playing with the cutelry". Spelling we had "spell burrow", every1 spelt burrow, every1 got it wrong, he said "no, no, a writing burrow". Happy daze.

[Frank Erskine]

Our "year group" (four streams) was split up alphabetically for woodwork into two groups. Those of us who had a surname initial up to about "L" were lumbered with George " Basher" Bates in W2, the others had a real gentleman, John(?) Thompson (Harris tweed jacket with leather patches on the elbows) in W1. For about a year Batesy was on long-term sick leave with an ulcer (in those days there was no quick fix as nowadays) and our group was delighted to be doubled up with Mr Thompson's class (who used PVA rather than Scotch glue), and ddin'tt get beaten around.

[Andy Burns]

No, Mr North.

[Roger Mills]

We had a wonderful chap called Wellman (nicknamed 'Flam' - no idea why).

If a boy said "My wood's split, sir" his response was always "Your wood didn't split itself - *you* split it!"

[David WE Roberts]

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In American terms, if you've got wood you can stretch it another 20% Awesome!

[Tim Watts]

That's a lot of work and expense compared to buying a new bit of wood.

But I wonder if that gunk would allow the easy bending and shaping of wood (ie what traditionally would have been done by steaming)?

[Andy Burns]

Did you notice what the date *was* last Sunday?

[neil]

Only saw this today, suspect it may have been put up last Sunday.

preview: 's stretching it a bit - isn't it? :)

[Andrew May]

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Fine Homebuilding? All the ones I have seen fall into either the 'look at this lovely house our builder built for us' or 'here's how to do simple DIY jobs'. From the times that I have been fortunate enough to see a copy of Fine Homebuilding it seems to have a lot of relevant detail at a fairly advance level. But, is unfortunately, to USAian orientated to be relevant over here.

[brass monkey]

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That gunk is amazing stuff, you just use the magic crayon (supplied) and write on the tin what you want it to do.

[Tim Watts]

OK - hehe then...

[Mike Clarke]

And using American arithmetic he managed to stretch a 4 ft plank 20% to

5ft.

[Roger Mills]

Indeed! [He'd only need to shrink it by 20% though to get back to 4 ft ]

[David WE Roberts]

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Oh, and you might like to look up "getting wood" or "getting a woody" in an American slang dictionary ;-)