How things go wrong ...

[Arfa Daily]

So when I removed the old basin from my downstairs bog, I first measured the height of the new one on its fancy cupboard, and measured the length of the tails that came with the new monobloc tap. Allowing a couple of cm 'slack', because I didn't want a lot of flexible tail kinking up behind there, I cut off the old pipes, and fitted a couple of service valves. Today, I screwed the tails into the tap, and fixed the tap to the basin. I then plonked the basin on its cupboard to check what exactly was going to be needed to connect the waste back up. To my horror, the bloody tails were hanging there, a couple of cms short of being able to screw onto the service valves. What I hadn't taken into account, is that the tails screw right up inside the tap body, effectively shortening them by about 8 cms ... Doh !

So now, I'm going to have to go to B& bloody Q tomorrow, and buy a couple of straight compression joints to extend my supply pipes, to the point where the tails can screw on. What a waste of sodding time and effort. I'm the world's worst for quoting the old "Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance" mantra, and here I am, suitably embarrassed by it d :-\

And talking of B&Q. I needed a rubber doorstop to prevent the metal handle on the door, from smashing my nice new tiles. They now only sell them in twos (why though?) and they are nearly a fiver !!! WTF is that about ? They do have a cheaper one, but it's made of solid nylon or some such. Hit that with the door a couple of times, and it'll be starting to loosen the screw in the wooden floor ...

Arfa

[Adrian C]

Aldi occasionaly sell a heavy round 3-inch door stop weight (probably depleted uranium) with rubber bumper strips around the edges. It stands an inch tall and doesn't require screwing down.

do thin/taller ones as well

of quid or thereabouts.

[Tabby]

's probably cheaper

NT

[N_Cook]

A bit of trivia for you.

3 local Southampton lads , Block , Quayle and Winter come out of National Service about the same time - what to do for a living? One had some experience of working in the USA in one of those new-fangled supermarkets and one had worked in a hardware shop. How about setting up a hardware supermarket ? Mr Winter happened to have some money but he considered it too risky a project and declined to have anything to do with it - Doh!

[Skipweasel]

Last time I had to fit to tails, a standard compression joint minus the olive didn't work. The sealing surface was too small and the rubber washer in the tail just slipped inside it.

[Tim Watts]

Skipweasel ( [e-mail]) wibbled on Sunday 20 February

2011 15:59:

I had that problem - I sized the pipework to my bog cistern based on the supplied ballcock which was plastic and expected a tap connector.

I then decided the ballcock was a piece of crap and went and bought a decent wone with a brass thread. The brass thread. whilst protruding about the same amount was set up for a compression joint and was as you say. Even if it had worked the sharp end would probably have punched through the washer over time.

Did consider filing it flat but in the end put a fancy bend in the pipework to accomodate an elbow and a short bit of pipe...

[Arfa Daily]

The job's finished now. I usually just screw tap tails down onto the top of a service valve, which of course is normally chrome plated, so a bit fatter and smoother around the top edge. I've never had a problem with these leaking short or long term, or with them not sealing in the first place or damaging the sealing washer, but I can see how that could occur. As it happens, when I got to B&Q today, the bin for cheapo 15mm straight compression joints was empty. As Wickes is right the other side of town, I sighed, and reluctantly shelled out twice the wonga for chrome plated compression joints (and even that was the last two they had). So in the end, based on your story and the other poster who said the same, maybe they did me a favour by being out of sharp edged plain brass ones.

Of course, the story didn't end there. The worst job in this house is always reconnecting the wastes. It was originally plumbed in God knows what size solvent weld. Nothing available today in solvent or push, mates with it. Yes, at a pinch, you can get a connection with a compression joint, but they are so bulky, and so difficult to get tight enough when there is a big discrepancy between the pipe diameters that you're trying to connect. Anyway, I bought a bog standard B&Q 32 mm two piece 'S' trap, as the new basin was going to be a bit offset from where the original was, and the two piece 'S' allows you swing it all around until everything lines up. I have spare lumps of three different 'standard' sizes of plastic waste pipe in the garage, and not one of them fitted the outlet compression joint on the new trap. I eventually ended up using a heat gun to soften the stump of original pipe going into the floor, until I could push a piece of 32 mm Marley inside it. I then cut that to length, and heated its upper end until soft, and 'flared' it with the pointy pipe attachment from the workshop hoover ! That then made it a tight fit in the trap compression joint.

And you know what ? A happy ending ! Nothing leaked anywhere. Just gotta tidy up now, before the missus gets back ... d;-)

Arfa

[damduck-egg]

Nice story to be told to greenhorns in the South Western Arms and other Portswood pubs but misses out so much that it is misleading. Best part of a decade between the end of National service and the opening of the first store for a start, Mr Q worked for John Lewis then Marley tile in a fairly high position. Bit more than a stint in a hardware store. He was really the driver of the two,Mr B being his Brother in law who was able raise funds against the wealth of a family business.

G.Harman