House improvements?

[meow2222]

Hi everyone

I have a semi detached house and want to increase its value before selling. I thought of some great ideas - anyone have any more?

1. Convert the house into a detached. I've already got the angle grinder.

1. Fit a jacuzzi in the bedroom. As there isnt room for a separate bathroom, I thought if I put it under the bed, you can move the bed to one side and voila, just drop in! Clever huh. It'll reduce head height downstairs a bit, but not enought to cause any problems.

2. I was chatting to Mr Nseowo the other week, and he reckons extensions are pretty cheap to do. Warned me about trouble from the council tho, so I'm not sure bout that one.

1. I plan to build an African style mud hut in the back garden too, garden shed is always useful.

2. Remove the supporting wall and have a nice big walkthru lounge and kitchen, will look great.

1. Take out all that stupid woodwork in the loft, half inch chip down then can use it for accomodation.

Any more smart ideas? I admit mine arent all original...

NT

[Mike Dodd]

(Saturday night drunken response....)

You may need to chat to the local BCO first on the above.

[Guy King]

The message from [e-mail] contains these words:

Not as funny as you think. I had a great uncle who'd seen a sunken bath at the flicks and made one in his house. This was in 1920s Kent and family legend claims you could see the ball & claw feet hanging through the kitchen ceiling, along with the plumbing.

[Paul Herber]

Hi Dr Nick! Time for some fun!

Becoming detached is a political as well as a physical process. You will require a Unilateral Declaration of Detachment form available from your local council. P.S. You will need brick acid as well as the angle grinder.

Jacuzzi on a string - available from all good sheds - Oxymorons 'R' Us have a reasonable supply on weekdays. Hang from the ceiling of any room, just pull the string and down it comes. Push the string to send it back up to the ceiling - Easy for the whole family - terms and conditions may apply! Not available in Dagenham, Belgium or Leamington Spa.

Mr Nseowo and Dribble exchange information during their tea breaks - use his advice at you peril!

African mud huts are just so 2005. 18th century Icelandic turf roofed 'cottages' are the 'to die for' for this year. P.S. pastel shades don't work on mud walls and ceilings.

OMG! Don't do it! Your social world will collapse around your ears. Don't call it a lounge! My friends in Islington are calling it a parlour this year. Green. 3 different shades. Lime green carpets will be the BIG thing next year!

[The Natural Philosopher]

Becoming detached is a mystical and metaphsyical process. You need the acid, but not the brick part;-)

[Owain]

If you make your next-door neighbour alter her will in your favour, then kill her with undetectable food poisoning, you won't even need the angle grinder. You will gain extra bedrooms and garden too.

This will appeal to the large number of divorced couples who don't want to live together but can't decide who gets the kids.

This was done on one of those Grand Designs programmes. Condensation may be an issue.

I think with global warming a sit-in refrigerated "cool spa" is going to be the must-have accessory. This can be easily fashioned from a dumped chest freezer and some t&g pine.

Depends on whether yours is a Catholic council or a Muslim council. You need to use the correct faith building contractor to get round that one.

I'm afraid to say there is an increasing racist tendency in some parts of society. You don't want to alienate any BNP-supporting potential customers. I would suggest an authentic repro Saxon hut as this will appeal to both traditionalists and Americans. You can always chuck down a couple of leopardskin rugs at viewing times if any of our former colonial cousins come round to make them feel at home. Animal skin rugs also appropriate for the chav market. There are lots of fake animal things in Primark Home.

Now that is a big no-no. Open plan is so last century. You will need that supporting wall to hang the built-in coffee-maker from.

Rather low budget I would have thought. Flatten the whole roof, put down some heavy duty felt, paint a roundel and you have a helipad. This will appeal to a much higher calibre of punter.

Owain

[meow2222]

thanks for the great ideas everyone, even more to do now.

NT

[Steve Walker]

Our first family home had a sunken bath in a ground floor bathroom. Upon examining it closely, a cavity had been dug into the foundations and an ordinary plastic bathtub dropped in. The drain outlet was attached with jubilee clips to 6ft of hosepipe leading to a sewer pipe which had been uncovered beneath it. The hosepipe had been connected to the clay sewer pipe by smashing a 2" hole into it with a chisel, and then cementing the end of the hose in the hole.

New to DIY at the time, I now cringe when I remember fixing this.....

- I did a reasonable bodge-job on the sewer pipe - exposed the hole, cleaned the pipe and repaired it smoothly with several layers of self-adhesive flashing tape, overpainted with several layers of heavy bitumen, before covering the whole area with a bucketful of waterproofed cement.

- But I exceeded myself in filling the bathtub-sized hole - I vaguely knew about mixing cement from watching the telly, but I didn't know about aggregate. So, I filled the whole thing with hand-mixed 6:1 mortar. And yes, it took a while.

[Hugo Nebula]

On 24 Jun 2006 15:48:50 -0700, a particular chimpanzee named [e-mail] randomly hit the keyboard and produced:

Create a basement; just start digging below your original foundations. If you're worried about undermining the foundations, then build a 4" retaining wall off the new slab.

[meow2222]

Ah, the most value increasing idea of all :)

NT

[Owain]

If your next door neighbour is deaf you could dig under her half as well. That would solve any problems with one half of the semi sinking more than the other.

You could also tap into her pipes and wiring giving you free heat and light.

Owain

[Mark]

Why not turn you newly created basement into an underground carpark? This would give you a steady income and pay for the treatment ;-)

Mark

[Peter Lynch]

On 24 Jun 2006 15:48:50 -0700, a particular chimpanzee named [e-mail] randomly hit the keyboard and produced:

Think of all that wasted space where the stairs are. Whip them out and put in a ladder. You could then cover the stairwell with a sheet or two of ply (12mm should do) and put another bedroom over the top.

Pete

[Owain]

Much better would be a small combination lift / shower room. This would save the extra cost of a downstairs cloakroom. Wake up, get into lift, close door. Have morning shit, open door, walk into kitchen, put on coffee, walk back into lift, close door, have shower, open door, walk into bedroom, get dressed, walk back into lift, close door, shave open door, walk into kitchen, grab coffee, leave for work.

Not just a fantastic time and space saver but great for the evironment too as the lift counterbalance can be recycled grey water. Use the space at the bottom of the lift shaft in the basement for a high flow combi boiler.

A win, win, win situation.

Owain

[S Viemeister]

Sheer brilliance.

[meow2222]

lol, genius

NT