Great Job Opportunity - crap wood selector

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Recruiting now at a DIY Superstore near you.
It has been noted that despite our best efforts some customers, through hours of patient searching, are managing to locate the occasional pieces of wood which are not completely warped, bowed and riddled with leaking and/or missing knots.
We are therefore searching for a truly talented and diligent individual who can locate supplies of the cheapest low grade timber available and upgrade the screening during manufacture to ensure that no finished boards are fit for use in any respectable home.
The willingness to walk on finished boards with dirty boots prior to display, notch, drop and otherwise mutilate them will be an additional advantage.
This is a truly outstanding opportunity for a skilled and well motivated individual.
CVs should be cut from tabloid newspaper and pasted onto cardboard and shoved under the door of the nearest B&Q or Homebase.
--



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David W.E. Roberts wrote:

Went to B&Q the other day, looked at a pile of wood. Someone at the distributor's had spraypainted `DIY stock' on the side of the pile.
`Hmmn,' thought I, as I went to the woodyard.
Ben.
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ben wrote:

So did I but local Jewson's were no better, 90% of their 1x1.5" were warped
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The straight pieces of wood seem to be marked Can Locate Supplies, but they don't match my walls and ceilings.
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David W.E. Roberts wrote:

ROFLMAO.
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"parish" <parish_AT_ntlworld.com> wrote in message

of
and/or
who
upgrade
fit
But how many of us actually complain about the poor quality and service at these places? As we have every right to. Whether out loud in the store or in writing to the managing director. Quite often people are prepared to just put up with shoddy service.
An assertiveness course I went on some years ago certainly helped - teaching various techniques for making your position clear. Although you should remember that assertiveness should NOT be confused with aggressiveness. With assertiveness you keep yourself under control, but make it clear what you expect.
Maybe if more people did object then things might improve. (Having said that, I do quite often just walk out of B&Q in exasperation!)
Peter.
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burbled:

at
in
Perhaps the local manager would not have enough clout - maybe you should write to the MD complaining about the local manager!
Peter.
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I wanted some timber on a Sunday morning and went to my local B&Q. After looking at, and rejecting, the loose pieces I decided to start opening the multi packs. Along comes a spotty youth and TELLS me I cannot do that. My reply to him was "If B&Q started buying 'good wood' then I wouldn't have to. He stood watching me for a while and I said "If you want to bring the manager I will gladly speak to him or her". Needless to say I am still waiting and my dinner is getting cold!
I also sent an E Mail regarding the stickers they put on their wood, I can never get one off without it tearing and leaving an adhesive residue in the wood, and a need for subsequent sanding etc. Can they not use plastic stickers instead of the paper ones which would solve the problem? I am still waiting for a reply to that aswell.
On the subject of parts robbing I bought a self cutting tap and when I came to fit it one of the preformed washers was missing. I found a small hole in the bag where some toerag had taken it out from. So I had to wait until the following week to return it, shop closed at 8.30 PM, and my job had to wait.
Tossers
John
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A while ago I was in a Jewsons and bought a can of expanding foam sealant, discovered at the checkout it didn't have its little piece of plastic straw. The checkout girl went with me to the shelf, picked up a can with a straw, put the other one back and said, 'don't tell anyone!' I reckon they don't care and rely on traditional British reserve cutting in, you know people who won't complain and will just go back and buy another one.
Peter
--
Peter Ashby
School of Life Sciences, University of Dundee, Scotland
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On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 15:37:34 +0000 (UTC), John wrote:

Lighter fuel shifts 'em and dosen't affect the wood.
I agree in this day an age they should be able to find a suitable, peelable, adhesive but they probably don't want that as people could shift the sticker from a bit of 25x25 to 150x150. The oiks on the checkout wouldn't notice.
But not a plastic label please, at least paper will rot.
--
Cheers snipped-for-privacy@howhill.com
Dave. pam is missing e-mail
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Assertiveness course my arse. More like a course in arrogance. I bet you lapped it up. Fortunately these days staff employed in the retail sector have just as many rights as the customer. Being abusive, aggressive, stamping your feet or throwing your rattle out of the pram will get you nowhere.
--
Joe Finlay

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On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 23:45:12 +0100, Joseph Finlay

!! LOL! ;O)
Take Care, Gnube {so, do YOU know anyone who won the Readers Digest Draw?} 4e-mail replace spamtrap with usenet
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writes

You are totally right as you say - "being abusive, aggressive, stamping your feet or throwing your rattle out of the pram WILL get you nowhere." But assertiveness will. You obviously don't know the difference between the two - I suggest you get yourself a good dictionary.
Peter.
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I don't need a dictionary. I do know the difference between the two. Unfortunately one mans assertiveness is another mans aggressiveness.
I suggest you read a primer on psychology
--
Joe Finlay

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writes

you
sector
your
OK, so you accept that there is a difference, so give us an explanation of that difference and explain, FROM MY POSTS, why you you think I would use aggressiveness rather than assertiveness. Remember I did say not to confuse the two and non of my posts have used any kind of aggressive language.
Or do you think you should not be assertive in any situation where you are given shoody service, given the run around or sent on a wild goose chase by a DIY shed or any other sort of store for that matter?
Peter.
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<snip of reasonable and informative post>

A sudden agressive (not assertive) appearance! Is it IMM in disguise or do we have a Troll intruder??
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On Sat, 23 Aug 2003 12:44:04 +0100, "David W.E. Roberts"

It didn't make for good reading either way! This was grim by even my standards, and I aspire to being a rotten, miserable, grumpy old curmudgeon, once I'm old enough. ;O)
Take Care, Gnube {so, do YOU know anyone who won the Readers Digest Draw?} 4e-mail replace spamtrap with usenet
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You honestly think that's aggressive? Gawd help us all!!
--
Joe Finlay

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wrote:

I'll go further than that, I reckon this was the only case of what was being accused in the whole thread (as far as I have read it to date!)to be honest, hence my LOL! on reading it, it was a tad ironic that the practice being decried was the very one used to decry it!
Take Care, Gnube {so, do YOU know anyone who won the Readers Digest Draw?} 4e-mail replace spamtrap with usenet
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Indeed, whilst it was not the practice that I was actually advocating!
Peter,
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