Getting rid of a rat

[Clive Summerfield]

Guess that as long as it gets taken out in the garden, it would act as a form of blood/bone fertiliser? Trying to look on the bright side here.

Cheers Clive

[Clive Summerfield]

Are we talking Nitrogen TriIodide MonoAmmine here? I know how to make that stuff, but I just want to kill the bugger, not have it wandering around the garden like a suicide bomber....

Cheers Clive

[Clive Summerfield]

terminating

Chuff me Mary, 50 quid and no sport in it! Actually I could imagine some of the local(-ish) scrotes nicking the bloody thing. How well does it work outside?

Cheers Clive

[Mary Fisher]

No - it's far too small for them to climb into :-(

Mary

[Clive Summerfield]

Pretty sure there isn't a whole horde around here, though we live near a couple of farms so they could be refugees. Since removing all food from the bird table, the bugger(s) hasn't been sighted though there's a couple of suspicious holes in the gardens. Gonna try the petrol/portfire/spade option this weekend.

Cheers Clive

[Mary Fisher]

Used as per the instructions it's extremely effective, inside, outside, in all weathers.

The local "scrotes (don't know what that means but I can imagine) can't get into our back garden. What's more, the local scrotes wouldn't know what it was so I doubt that they'd nick it. We live in a high crime area and even though we've left ours in the drive, which is accessible, it hasn't gone. It doesn't have a price tag on it and scrotes (I'm beginning to get into this :-) ) aren't all that bright so have no idea of its purpose or worth.

As for sport, well that's fine if you can use a gun on your property. We can't.

It's not messy like the Little Nipper types, there's no blood and you don't handle the corpse (unless you want to). since there's no physical damage to the animal it could be used for dissection.

By the way, it also works for mice but hedgehogs can't get in.

You could of course make your own ...

Mary

[Mary Fisher]

Is that so?

Mary

[Steve]

...or Canadians.

Interesting isn't it that only Americans are allowed to use the "I was only obeying orders defence", and the only (???) ones expected to fly doped up to the eyeballs on speed or whatever.

Steve

[Mary Fisher]

That's true.

It's been estimated that you're never more than a few metres from a rat.

And rats aren't solitary and they breed. You only see the tip of the iceberg.

Mary

[The Natural Philosopher]

It has been remarked that the only way to get rid of rats is to make your local environmnet a rat desert (as opposd to a desrt rat, which is something Nigella Lawson does with choclate and cream I believe).

Faced with starvation or migratin, your average rat will be over the hill faster than an illegal immigrant on methedrine.

[The Natural Philosopher]

As in 'we are the (3) nights of (Ni!)'

I explode in your general direction.

>

[The Natural Philosopher]

No fun.

[The Natural Philosopher]

Exactly. Ther is nothing left to clean up. Just an overall natural organic smear that will compost much faster than a corpse.

>

[The Natural Philosopher]

Look, the point is not just to KILL the rat. You can do that with a .22 or even an air rifle.

We are talking about 'shock and awe' here. We want those rats to feel THREATENED. Like do you feel lucky today, rat? We want total obliteration, and rat fallout scattered around 'pour encourager les autres' et toute cette excrement.

We want rats at no more than 5 yards to 'feel the steel' and walk through a leaden hail of total annihilation.

I mean, you could try a small anti-personnel mine, but 'happiness is a warm gun' and all that.

[The Natural Philosopher]

We can but hope.

[The Natural Philosopher]

I agree. I think the answer is electrically detonated napalm. Or even petrol and washing up liquid.

[The Natural Philosopher]

My point exactly. Don';t even need to take it out. Just let the breeze carry the fragments.

[The Natural Philosopher]

All combat pilots fly doped up to the eyeballs. It was standard issue in WWII.

[The Natural Philosopher]

Course you can. get an air rifle, and when you have sniped the rat poplution into a bosnian war zone, you can get a ladder onto your roof and practice on the local scrotes and speeding motorists.

where's the fun in that?

I mean an air rifle only kills them as well, but its almost as good as 'duke nukem'

Lord. 50 squids for a better mousetrap?

[Clive Summerfield]

Nice to see someone else shares my approach to pest control. It is never enough to simply remove the problem. One must prevent future incursions. The method can best be summarised as "First you will know fear, then you will know pain, then you will die!".

I'd use a Milan if it didn't mean risking the workshop....

Cheers Clive